Business Communication and soft skills pdf

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Dr.FlynnHanks,United States,Teacher
Published Date:26-07-2017
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? Business and Corporate Soft SkillsBUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS UNIT I THE MIND LESSON 1 POSITIVE THINKING Contents: Developing a positive attitude, Stop the blame game, List of Excuses, Some suggestions for giving criticism that motivates others: Learning Objective: To develop positive thinking Developing a positive attitude Positive Mental Attitude: The prerequisite to winning • I can’t get focused today • I can’t deal with the pressure • This contest isn’t important to me • I don’t have a clear frequency • I can’t beat him • I don’t like to compete A common thread that connects these excuses A positive attitude, or outlook on life, can lead to positive behavior and create success. An upbeat, positive person draws Actually there are two: other people like a magnet. After all, who would you rather be The bad news — Negative Thinking around—someone who is strong and motivated, with the The good news — all can be corrected with Positive Action. confidence to keep moving forward; or, someone who stays Excuses pre-exist in our minds; they are really a reflection of our stuck in one place, thinking of reasons why things don’t seem commitment or resolve, or lack thereof. These barriers are to happen? No arguments nothing more than our mind giving our body permission to Consider this list of positive habits. fail — they’re a pre-existing justification for poor performance I will think of myself as Successful Something as simple making your own Top Twenty-Excuse I will have positive expectations for everything I do list can be used as a powerful tool. Scan that list and see how I will remind myself of past successes many of those obstructions may be holding you back. Take each of the impediments on your personal list and decide how I will not dwell on failures...I just won’t repeat them it can be corrected, reversed, or even turned into an asset. Next, I will surround myself with positive people and ideas decide if you’re committed enough to make the invariable I will keep trying until I achieve the results I want sacrifices that are necessary for legitimate improvement. List of excuses These detract from optimum performance: • I didn’t have time to practice • I don’t understand the tasks • I don’t have the best glider • The tasks are too daunting • I’ve got a terrible headache 1BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS People who use their privileges without accepting responsibility usually end up losing their privileges. Responsibility involves thoughtful action. Pettiness Causes Us to Ignore Our Responsibilities Think about it. Petty minds are busy passing the buck rather than doing what needs to be done. Social Responsibility Ancient Indian wisdom teaches us that our first responsibility is to the community, second to our family and third to ourselves. When this hierarchy is reversed, a society starts degenerating. Social responsibility ought to be the moral obligation of every citizen. Responsibility and freedom go hand in hand. A sign of a good citizen is that he is willing to pull his own weight. Societies are not destroyed so much by the activities of rascals He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand but by the inactivity of the good people. What a paradox If and walk and run... good people can tolerate destruction by being inactive, how can they be good? The question is, are they discharging their social Step 1: responsibility? Accept Responsibility Show Consideration When people accept additional responsibility they are actually A ten-year-old girl went to a fast food joint, sat at a table, and giving themselves a promotion. asked the waiter, “How much is an ice-cream cone?” She said, Responsible behavior is to accept accountability. That represents “Twenty five Rupees, please.” The boy started counting the maturity. Acceptance of responsibility is a reflection of our coins he held in his hand. Then he asked how much a small cup attitude and the environment we operate in. Most people are of ice cream was. The waiter impatiently replied, “Fifteen quick to take credit for what goes right but very few would Rupees.” readily accept responsibility when things go wrong. A person The boy said, “I will have the small ice-cream cup.” The boy ate who does not accept responsibility is not absolved from being his ice-cream, paid the bill, and left. When the waiter came to responsible. Your objective is to cultivate responsible behavior. pick up the empty plate, she was touched. Underneath were coins worth Ten Rupees left as the tip. The young boy had Stop the Blame Game consideration for the waiter before he ordered his ice-cream. He showed sensitivity and caring. He thought of others before himself. If we all thought like the little boy, we would have a great place Avoid phrases such as: to live. Show consideration, courtesy and politeness. Thought- • Everyone else does it, fulness shows a caring attitude. • No one does it, or Think Win-Win • It is all your fault. A man died and St. Peter asked him if he would like to go to heaven or hell. The man asked if he could see both before People who don’t accept responsibility shift the blame to their deciding. St. Peter took him to hell first. There the man saw a parents, teachers and genes. God, fate, luck or the stars. big hall containing a long table, laden with many kinds of food. Responsible behavior should be inculcated right from child- He also saw rows of people with pale, sad faces. They looked hood. It cannot be taught without a certain degree of starved and there was no laughter. And he observed one more obedience. 2BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS thing: Their hands were tied to four-foot forks and knives and Talk less; say more. they were trying to get the food from the center of the table to A fool speaks without thinking; a wise man thinks put into their mouths. But they couldn’t. before speaking. Words spoken out of bitterness can cause irreparable damage. The way parents speak to their children in many instances shapes their children’s destiny. Don’t Criticize and Complain Then, St. Peter took him to see heaven. There he saw a big hall with a long table, with lots of food. He noticed rows of people on both sides of the table with their hands tied to four-foot forks and knives also. But here people were laughing and were well fed and healthy-looking. The people were feeding one another across the table. The result was happiness, prosperity, enjoyment and gratification because they were not thinking of When I talk of criticism, I refer to negative criticism. When a themselves alone; they were thinking win-win. The same is true person is criticized, he becomes defensive. A critic is often like a of our lives. When we serve our customers, our families, our back-seat driver who drives the driver mad. Does that mean we employers and employees, we automatically win. should never criticize, nor can we give positive criticism? Choose Your Words Carefully Positive or Healthy Criticism Spoken words cannot be taken back. A person who says what How do you offer constructive criticism? Criticize with a spirit ever he likes usually ends up hearing what he doesn’t like. So of helpfulness rather than as a put-down. Offer solutions in why speak something that you don’t want to hear. your criticism. Criticize the behavior not the person, because when we criticize the person, we hurt their self-esteem. The right to criticize comes with the desire to help. As long as the act of criticizing does not give pleasure to the giver, it is okay. When giving criticism becomes a pleasure, it is time to stop. Some suggestions for giving criticism that motivates others: • Be a coach—criticize with a helpful attitude. A coach criticizes to help improve performance of the athlete. • Understanding and concern will act as a motivator. . The attitude should be corrective rather than • Punitive. • Be specific, rather than saying things like “you always” Be tactful. Tact consists of choosing one’s words carefully and or “you never.” Vague criticism causes knowing how far to go. It also means knowing what to say and what to leave unsaid. Talent without tact may not always be • Resentment. desirable. Words reflect attitude. Words can hurt feelings and • Get your facts right. Don’t jump to conclusions. We all have destroy relationships. More people have been hurt by an the right to our opinions but we don’t have the right to improper choice of words. Why say sorry regularly after saying incorrect facts. Don’t rush to criticize. . Maintain your cool something that need not be said. Choose what you say rather but be firm. than say what you choose. That is the difference between • Criticize to persuade, not intimidate. wisdom and foolishness. Excessive talking does not mean communication. 3BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS • When someone realizes and admits his mistake and apologizes. Let him save face. • Close on a positive note with appreciation. Receiving Criticism There will be times when you will be criticized, sometimes justly and sometimes unjustly. The greatest people in the world have been criticized. Justified criticism can be very helpful and should be taken positively as feedback. Unjustified criticism is really a compliment in disguise. It is the average person who hates winners. When people are not successful and have nothing else to talk about they make you the target. . The only way you will never be criticized is if you do nothing, say nothing or have nothing. You will end up being a big nothing. Unjust criticism comes from two sources: 1. Ignorance. • Don’t be sarcastic as it builds resentment. When criticism is given out of ignorance, it can easily be • If criticism is given appropriately, it will reduce the need for eliminated or corrected by building awareness of the facts. repetition. 2. Jealousy. • Criticize in private not in public. Why? Because it maintains When criticism springs from jealousy, take it as a compliment goodwill whereas public criticism can be humiliating. in disguise. You are being unjustly criticized because the • Give the other person an opportunity to explain his side. other person wants to be where you are. • Show them how they would benefit from correcting their mistake. • Point out the loss from not correcting it. . Rather than telling, ask for suggestions for improvement. • Question the action, not the intent. If intent is in question, then it is better to terminate the relationship. • Criticize the performance, not the performer. • Don’t express personal resentment. The tree that bears the most fruits also gets the most stones. There is another breed of people who are willing to help others until the others are able to help themselves. But as soon as they are able to help themselves, these groups of people make life as miserable and as uncomfortable as possible. This is part of life and if we have to succeed, we have to do it in spite of them. This kind of behavior is the result of jealousy. An inability to accept constructive criticism is a sign of poor self- esteem. • Keep criticism in perspective. Don’t overdo it. Criticism is Suggestions for accepting criticism like giving medication. • Take it in the right spirit. Deal with it graciously rather • The medication should be the right mixture with a perfect than grudgingly. dosage. Too much will have adverse effects and too little will be ineffective. Given in a positive way in the right dosage, it • Evaluate it with an open mind, if it makes sense accept it, can work wonders. learn from it and implement it. 4BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS Yet it cannot be begged, bought, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is worth nothing to anyone until it is given • Don’t be defensive. Accept constructive criticism immediately away. and emphatically. In the course of the day, some of your acquaintances may be • Why? Because itdisarms the other person. If we don’t it will too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours. Nobody irritate him even more and in future he will not give needs a smile so much as those who have none left to give. cons­tructive criticism. If we use this as a tactic if will only work once, but if we are sincere it will work time after time. Cheerfulness flows from goodness. A smile can be fake or genuine. The key is to have a genuine one. It takes more • Thank the person who gives constructive criticism because he muscles to frown than to smile. It is easier to smile than frown. means well and has helped you. It improves face value. Who likes to be around a grouch? No • A person with high self-esteem accepts positive criticism and one except may be a bigger grouch A smile is contagious and is becomes better, not bitter. an inexpensive way to improve looks. A smiling face is always • The problem with most people is they would rather be welcome. ruined by false praise than culprit by constructive criticism. Complaints Some people are chronic complainers. If it is hot, it is too hot. If it is cold, it is too cold. Every day is a bad day. They complain even if everything goes right. Why complain? Because 50% of the people don’t care if you have got a problem and the other 50% are happy that you have got a problem. What is the point of com­plaining? Nothing comes out of it. It becomes a personality trait. Does that mean we should never complain or invite complaints? Not at all. Just like criticism, if it is done in a positive way, complaints can be very useful. A constructive complaint (a) Shows that the complainer cares. Put Positive Interpretation on Other (b) Gives the receiver of complaints a second chance to correct People’s Behavior himself. In the absence of sufficient facts, people instinctively put a Smile and Be Kind negative interpretation on others’ actions or inactions. Some people suffer from “paranoia”: they think the world is out to SMILE get them. That is not true. By starting with positive assump- A smile costs nothing, but buys everything tions, we have a better chance of building a pleasing personality It enriches those who receive it without impoverishing those resulting, in good relationships. who give it. For example, how often have we put through a call and not It happens in a flash, and the memory of it may last forever. gotten a reply from the other party for two days and the first None are so rich that they can get along without it, and none so poor that they cannot be richer for its benefits. thought that comes to our mind is, It creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in a business, “They never cared to return my call” or “They ignored and is the countersign of friends. me.” That is negative. It is rest to the weary, daylight to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and nature’s best antidote for trouble. Maybe: 5BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS • They tried, but couldn’t get through • Annoyed • They left a message we didn’t get • Dejected • They had an emergency • Stupid • They never got the message. There could be many reasons. It is worth giving the benefit of doubt to the other person and starting on a positive note. Be a Good Listener One often reads that the art of effective conversation is dying. But wouldn’t you agree that infinitely more valuable and rare is a good listener. • Let down • Worthless • Unimportant • Embarrassed Ask yourself these questions. How does it make you feel when you wanted somebody to listen to you and • They did more talking than listening. • They disagreed with the first thing you said. • They interrupted you at every step. • They were impatient and completed every sentence you started. • They were physically present but mentally absent. • Small • They heard but didn’t listen. You had to repeat the same • Demotivated thing three times because the other person wasn’t listening. • Ignored • They came to conclusions unrelated to facts. • Disheartened • They asked questions on unrelated topics. Let’s reverse the scenario. How does it make you feel when you • They were fidgety and distracted. want someone to listen to you and they: • They were obviously not listening or paying attention. • Make you comfortable. All these things show disinterest in the person or the topic and • Give you their undivided attention. a total lack of courtesy. • Ask appropriate and relevant questions. Do the following words describe the feeling of not • Show interest in your subject. being listened to? Do the following words describe the feeling of being listened • Neglected to? • Belittled • Rejected q Important q Pleased 6BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS • Ask questions. It shows interest. • Don’t interrupt. • Don’t change the topic. • Show understanding and respect. • Pay attention, concentrate. • Avoid distractions. • Show empathy. • Be open-minded. Don’t let preconceived ideas and prejudices prevent you from listening. • Concentrate on the message and not on the delivery. • Recognize the nonverbal communication, such as facial expressions, eye contact, etc. They might be communicating a different message from the verbal. • Listen to feelings and not just words. • Satisfied Be Enthusiastic • Worthwhile Nothing great is ever achieved without enthusiasm. • Cared for Enthusiasm and success go hand in hand, but enthu­siasm • Good comes first. Enthusiasm inspires confidence, raises morale, builds loyalty and is priceless. • Happy You can feel enthusiasm by the way a person talks, walks or • Appreciated shakes hands. • Encouraged • Inspired What are some of the barriers to effective listening? • External Barriers • Internal Barriers • Physical distractions preoccupation or absent-mindedness • Prejudice and prejudging people • No interest in subject or speaker • Noise fatigue There could be intellectual barriers, such as language, compre- hension, etc. In order to inspire others to speak, be a good listener. Listening shows caring. When you show a caring attitude towards another Enthusiasm is a habit that one can acquire and practice. person, that person feels important. When he feels important, Many decades ago, Charles Schwab, who was earning a salary of what happens? He is more motivated and more receptive to a million dollars a year, was asked if he was being paid such a your ideas. high salary because of his exceptional ability to produce steel. In order to be a good listener Charles Schwab replied, “I con­sider “the” secret to success in an organization is the head’s ability to arouse enthusiasm among the men and the way to develop the best that is in a man is by appreciation and encourage­ment” Live while you are alive. Don’t die before you are dead. Enthusi- asm and desire are what change mediocrity to excellence. Water turns into steam with a difference of only one degree in temperature and steam can move some of the biggest engines in the world. That is what enthusiasm helps us to do in our lives. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation “One of the deepest desires of human beings is the desire to • Encourage the speaker to talk. be appreciated. The feeling of being unwanted is hurtful.” 7BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS Expensive jewels are not real gifts; they are apologies for automatically your own self-esteem goes up. Public appreciation shortcomings. Many times we buy gifts for people to compen- is recognition. sate for not spending enough time with them. Real gifts are Caution: Without clear benchmarks appreciation may cause when you give a part of yourself. resentment. Sincere appreciation is one of the greatest gifts one can give to What is the difference between appreciation and another person. It makes a person feel important. The desire to flattery? feel important is one of the greatest cravings in most human The difference is sincerity. One comes from the heart, the other beings. It can be a great motivator. from the mouth. One is sincere and the other has an ulterior motive. Some people find it easier to flatter than to give sincere praise. Don’t flatter or get taken in by flatterers. Sincere appreciation is like a mirage in the desert. The closer you get, the more disappointed you become because it is nothing more than an illusion. People put up a front of sincerity as a cover up. When You Make a Mistake, Accept It And Move On “When I am wrong, make me easy to change; and when I am right, make me easy to live with.” This is a good philosophy to live by. The biggest disease today is the feeling of being unwanted. In order to be effective, appreciation must meet certain criteria: It must be specific. If I tell someone that he did a good job, and walk away, what will go through his mind? He will think, “What did I do good?” He will be confused. But when I say, “The way you handled that difficult customer was great,” then he knows what he is being appreciated for. It must be immediate. Some people live and learn while others live and never learn. The effectiveness is diluted if we show our appreciation for Mistakes are to be learned from. The greatest mistake a person someone six months after he has done something commend- can make is to repeat it. Don’t assign blame and make excuses. able. Don’t dwell on it. When you realize your mistake, it is a good idea to accept responsibility for it and apologize. Don’t defend It must be sincere. it. Why? Acceptance disarms the other person. Arguments can It must come from the heart. You must mean every word. It is be avoided and a lot of heartache prevented by being a little better not to appreciate if you don’t mean it because insincerity careful. The best way to win an argument is to avoid it. An comes through. argument is one thing you will never win. If you win, you lose; Don’t qualify praise with a but. if you lose, you lose. If you win an argument but lose a good By using the but as a connector, we erase the appreciation. Use job, customer, friend or marriage, what kind of victory is it? “and,” “in addition to that” or some other appropriate Pretty empty. Arguments result from inflated ego. connector. Instead of saying, “I appreciate your effort but...”, say something like, “I appreciate your effort and would you Arguing is like fighting a losing battle. Even if one wins, the please” cost may be more than the victory is worth. Emotional battles After giving appreciation, it is not important to wait for a leave a residual ill will even if you win. receipt or acknowledgment. Some people are looking for a In an argument, both people are trying to have the last word. compliment in return. That is not the purpose of appreciation. Argument is nothing more than a battle of egos and results in If you are receiving appreciation, accept it graciously with a a yelling contest. A bigger fool than the one who knows it all is “thank-you.” It is easier to deal with honest rejection than the one who argues with him insincere appreciation. At least the person knows where he stands. Don’t miss out any opportunity to give sincere appreciation. It builds the other person’s self-esteem and 8BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS Is It Worth It? point. Never let him drag you to his level. Treat him with The more arguments you win, the fewer friends you have. Even courtesy and respect; that will confuse him. if you are right, is it worth arguing? The answer is pretty obvious. A big NO Does that mean one should never bring up Regardless of the cause, the best way to diffuse the a point that contradicts another? One should, but gently and situation is to: tactfully, by saying something neutral such as “based on my 1. Give a patient hearing. information...” 2. Not fight back or retaliate-that will confuse the other person If the other person is argumentative, even if you can prove him because he was expecting a fight. wrong, is it worth it? I don’t think so. Do you make your point a second time? I wouldn’t. Why? Because the argument is 3. Not expect an apology. For some people, apolo­gizing is coming from a closed mind trying to prove who is right rather difficult even if they have made a mistake. than what is right. 4. Not make issues out of petty matters. When you are stuck up in an argument, you have several Discussion entails not only saying the right thing at the right choices: time but also leaving unsaid what need not be said. Children 1. Repeat your point again and again and intensify the should be taught the art of speaking up but not talking back. argument. As adults we should learn the art of disagreeing without being disagreeable. The way a person handles an argument reflects 2. Bring the facts and figures and make sure you prove him their upbringing. wrong. 3. Discuss but don’t argue. I learned a long time ago never to wrestle with a pig. 4. Avoid it and move on. The right choices are numbers 3 and 4. You get dirty and besides, the pig likes it. If one wants to accomplish great things in life one has to Steps to Opening a Discussion practice maturity. Maturity means not getting entangled in • Be open-minded. unimportant things and petty arguments. • Don’t be dragged into an argument. What is the Difference Between an Argument and a • Don’t interrupt. Discussion? • Listen to the other person’s point of view before giving your • An argument throws heat; a discussion throws light. . One own. stems from ego and a closed mind whereas the other comes • Ask questions to clarify. That will also set the other person from an open mind. thinking. • An argument is an exchange of ignorance whereas • Don’t exaggerate. • A discussion is an exchange of knowledge. • Be enthusiastic in convincing, not forceful. • An argument is an expression of temper whereas a • Be willing to yield. discussion is an expression of logic. • Be flexible on petty things but not on principles. 10. Don’t make it a prestige issue. • Give your opponent a graceful way to withdraw without hurting his pride. Rejection can be hurtful. • Use soft words but hard arguments rather than hard words and soft arguments. • An argument tries to prove who is right whereas a discussion tries to prove what is right. It is not worthwhile to reason with a prejudiced mind; it wasn’t reasoned into him so you can’t reason it out. • A narrow mind and a quarrelsome attitude usually lead to pointless arguments. In order to discuss, let the other person state his side of the case without interruption. Let him blow the heat. Don’t try to prove him wrong on every 9BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS • Does my conversation begin with, “Don’t tell anyone?” • Can I maintain confidentiality? It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument. His strong and bitter words only indicate a weak cause. • Refrain from indulging in gossip. Remember, small talk comes out of big mouths. During a discussion, it may be a good idea to use phrases such as: Turn Your Promises into Commitments What is the difference between a promise and a commitment? • It appears to me … A promise is a statement of intent. A commitment is a • I may be wrong... promise that is going to be kept no matter what. In the no Another way to defuse arguments is by showing ignorance and matter what, I exclude illegal, unethical and immoral things. asking questions such as: Commitment comes out of character and leads to conviction. • Why do you feel that way? • Can you explain a little? · Can you be more specific? If nothing works, it may be worthwhile to politely, gently and with courtesy, agree to disagree. Don’t Gossip Remember, people who gossip with you about others will also gossip about you in your absence. Can you imagine what kind of a world it would be if people didn’t keep their commitments? What would happen to relationships between: • spouses? • employers and employees? • parents and children? • students and teachers? • buyers and sellers? Gossiping and lying are closely related. A gossip listens in haste Uncommitted relationships are shallow and hollow. They are a and repeats at leisure. A gossip never minds his own business matter of convenience and are temporary. Nothing lasting has because he has neither a mind nor a business. A gossip is more ever been created without commit­ment. concerned about what he overhears than what he hears. Gossip Commitment says, “I am predictable in the unpredic­table is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves nothing unsaid. future.” Many people confuse commitment with confinement. That really is not true. Commitment does not take away freedom; it actually “Small people talk about other people, mediocre gives more freedom because it pro­vides a sense of security. people talk about things, great people talk about ideas.” The most important commitment we ever make is to your values. That is why it is imperative to have good value system. Gossip can lead to slander and defamation of character. People For example, if I committed myself to support a leader who who listen to gossip are as guilty as those who do the gossip- later becomes a mafia don, do I continue my commitment? ing. It victimizes the helpless. Gossip is hard to track down Not at all. because it has no face or name. It tarnishes reputations, topples govern­ments, wrecks marriages, ruins careers, makes the Commitment leads to enduring relationships through thick innocent cry, and causes heartaches and sleepless nights. and thin. It shows in a person’s personality and relationships. The next time you indulge in gossip, ask yourself. Be Grateful But Do Not Expect Gratitude • Is it the truth? Gratitude is a beautiful word. Gratitude is a feeling. It improves our personality and builds character. Gratitude develops out of • Is it kind and gentle? humility. It is a feeling of thankfulness towards others. It is • Is it necessary? conveyed through our attitude towards others and reflects in • Am I spreading rumors? our behavior. Gratitude does not mean reciprocating good • Do I say positive things about others? deeds gratitude is not give and take. • Do I enjoy and encourage others to spread rumors? 10BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS Kindness, understanding and patience cannot be repaid. What Ability is important but dependability is crucial. If you have does gratitude teach us? It teaches us the art of cooperation and someone with all the ability but if he is not dependable, do you understanding. Gratitude must be sincere. A simple thank you want him as part of your team? No,not at all. can be gracious. Many times we forget to be thankful to the There were two childhood buddies who went through school people closest to us, such as our spouse, our relatives, our and college and even joined the army together. War broke out friends. and they were fighting in the same unit. One night they were Ego stands in the way of showing gratitude. A gracious ambushed. Bullets were flying all over and out of the darkness attitude changes our outlook in life. With gratitude and came a voice, “Utpal, please come and help me.” Utpal immedi- humility, right actions come naturally. ately recognized the voice of his childhood buddy, Sajal. He asked the captain if he could go. The captain said, “No, I can’t Gratitude ought to be a way of life, something that we cannot let you go, I am already short-handed and I cannot afford to give enough of. It can mean a smile, or a thank you, or a gesture lose one more person. Besides, the way Sajal sounds he is not of appreciation. going to make it.” Utpal kept quiet. Again the voice came, “Utpal, please come and help me. “Utpal, sat quietly because the captain had refused earlier. Again and again the voice came. Utpal couldn’t contain himself any longer and told the captain, “Captain, this is my childhood buddy. I have to go and help.” The captain reluc- tantly let him go. Utpal crawled through the darkness and dragged Sajal back into the trench. They found that Sajal was dead. Now the captain got angry and shouted at Utpal, “Didn’t I tell you he was not going to make it? He is dead, you could have been killed and I could have become short handed. You made a mistake.” Seldom are we grateful for the things we already possess. Utpal replied, “Captain, I did the right thing. When I reached Think back and try to recall the people who had a positive Sajal he was still alive and his last words were ‘Utpal, I knew influence on your life. Your parents, teachers, anyone who spent you would come.” extra time to help you . Perhaps it appears that they just did their job. Not really. They willingly sacrificed their time, effort, Good relationships are hard to find and once deve­loped money and many other things for you. They did it out of love should be nurtured. and not for your thankfulness. At some point, a person realizes the effort that went in to help them shape their future. Perhaps it is not too late to thank them. Be Dependable and Practice Loyalty The old adage, “an ounce of loyalty is worth more than a pound of cleverness,” is universal and eternal. We are often told: Live your dream. But you cannot live your dream at the expense of others. People who do so are unscrupulous. We need to make personal sacrifices for our family, friends, those we care about and who depend on us. Avoid Bearing Grudges Have you heard the phrase I can forgive but I can’t forget? When a person refuses to forgive, he is locking doors that some day he might need to open. When we hold grudges and harbor resentments, who are we hurting the most? Ourselves. Rahul and Pankaj had been childhood friends but for whatever reasons, the relationship fell apart and they hadn’t spoken for 25 years. Rahul was on his deathbed and didn’t want to enter 11BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS eternity with a heavy heart. So he called Pankaj, apologized and • little white lies? said, “Let’s forgive each other and be done for the past” Pankaj • flattery? thought it was a good idea and went to visit Rahul at the • omitting facts or giving half-truths? hospital. • telling the greatest lies by remaining silent? They spent a couple of hours together catching up on the last Make yourself an honest man and then you may be sure 25 years - and patching up their differences. As Pankaj was there is one rascal less in the world. leaving, Rahul shouted from behind, “Pankaj, just in case I don’t die; remember, this forgiveness doesn’t count” Life is too Credibility short to hold grudges. It is not worth it We all know the story of the shepherd boy who cried wolf. The boy decided to have some fun at the expense of the villagers. While it is not worth holding grudges, it doesn’t make sense to He shouted, “Help, help, the wolf is here.” The villagers heard be bitten time and again. It is well said, “Cheat me once, shame him and came to his rescue. But when they got there, they saw on you; you cheat me twice, shame on me.” Of course once no wolf and the boy laughed at them. They went away. The bitten twice shy. next day, the boy played the same trick and the same thing Practice Honesty, Integrity and Sincerity happened. Honesty means to be genuine and real versus fake and fictitious. Then one day, while the boy was taking care of his sheep he Build a reputation of being trustworthy. If there is one thing actually saw a wolf and shouted for help. The people in the that builds any kind of relationship at home, at work, or village heard him but this time nobody came to his rescue. They socially, it is integrity. thought it was another trick and didn’t trust him anymore. He Not keeping commitments amounts to dishonest behavior. lost his sheep to the wolf. Honesty inspires openness, reliability and frankness. It shows The moral of the story is respect for one’s self and others. Honesty is in being, not in • When you tell lies, you lose credibility. appearing to be. Lies may have speed but truth has endurance. • Once you have lost credibility, even when you tell the truth, Integrity is not found in company brochures or titles but in a no one believes you. person’s character. • The Quality of a Good Character is Honesty Is it worth compromising one’s integrity and taking shortcuts to win? A person may win a trophy but knowing the truth, can Beware of Half-truths or Misrepresentation of Truths never be a happy person. More important than winning a Exaggeration trophy is being a good human being. Exaggeration does two things: Whenever you take an action, ask yourself: Am I giving fair 1. It weakens our case and makes us lose credibility. value for the wages or money I hope to make? 2. It is like an addiction. It becomes a habit. Some people can’t Honesty and dishonesty becomes a habit. Some people practice tell the truth without exaggerating. dishonesty and can lie with a straight face. Others lie so much that they no longer know what the truth is. Sincerity is a matter of intent and hard to prove. We can achieve our goals by having a sincere desire to help others. But whom are they deceiving? Themselves- more than anyone else. Stay Away from Pretense Asking a friend in trouble, “Is there anything I can do for you,” Honesty can be put across gently. Some people take pride in is really annoying. It is more lip service than a sincere offer. If being brutally honest. It seems they are getting a bigger kick out you really want to help, think of some­thing appropriate to be of the brutality than the honesty. Choice of words and tact are done and then do it. important. Many people put on the cloak of sincerity more out of Truth May Not Always Be What You Want to Hear selfishness than substance, hoping that some day they could One can be truthful without hurting other’s sentiments but claim the right to receive help. that may not always be the case. The most important responsi­bility of an honest friend is to be truthful. Some Stay away from meaningless and phony pleasantries. Caution- people, in order to avoid confronting painful truths, select sincerity is no measure of good judgment. Someone could be friends who tell them what they want to hear. They are like sincere, yet wrong. frogs in the well despite the fact that deep down they know they ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS are not being truthful. Honest criticism can be painful. If you have many acquaintances and few friends, it is time to step back and explore the depth of your relationships. A lack of honesty is sometimes labeled as tact, public relations or politics. But is it really so? The problem with lying is that one has to remember one’s lies. Honesty requires firmness and commitment. How many times have we all been guilty of : 12BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS Relationships don’t come about because people are, perfect. They come about because of understanding. Maintain Integrity Ancient wisdom says, “Anything that is bought or sold has no There is more gratification in being a caring person than in just value unless it contains the secret, priceless ingredient-that, what being a nice person. A caring attitude builds, goodwill, which is cannot be traded.” What is it? The secret, priceless ingredient of the best kind of insurance that a person can have and it doesn’t every product is the credibility, the honor and integrity of the cost a thing. one who makes it. It is not so secret but it is priceless. Some people substitute money for caring and under­standing. Here is Another Side to Integrity-Questionable Being understanding is far more important than money and the Three executives were fighting over who would pay the bill for best way to be understood is to be understanding. The basis of lunch. One said, “I will pay, I can get a tax deduction.” The real communication is to understand. other said, “Let me have it, I will get reimbursement from my Practice Generosity company.” The third said, “Let me pay, because I am filing for Generosity is a sign of emotional maturity. Being generous is bankruptcy next week.” being thoughtful and considerate without being asked. Practice Humility Generous people experience the richness of life that a selfish Confidence without humility is arrogance. Humility is the person cannot even dream of. foundation of all virtues. It is a sign of greatness. Humility Be considerate; selfishness brings its own punishment. Be does not mean self-demeaning behavior that would amount to sensitive to other people’s feelings. belittling oneself. Sincere humility attracts but false humility Be Tactful detracts. Tact is very important in any relationship. Tact is the ability to Many years ago, a rider came across some soldiers who were make a point without alienating the other person. trying to move a heavy log without success. The corporal was standing by as the men struggled. The rider asked the corporal Kindness why he wasn’t helping. The corporal replied, “I am the corporal; Money will buy a great dog but only kindness will make him I give orders.” The rider dismounted, went up to the soldiers wag his tail. It is never too soon for kindness because we don’t and helped them lift the log. With his help, the log got moved. know how soon is too late. The rider quietly mounted his horse and went to the corporal Kindness is a language the deaf can hear and the blind can see. and said, “The next time your men need help, send for the It is better to treat a friend with kindness while he is living than Commander-in-Chief.” After he left, the corporal and his men display flowers on his grave when he is dead. found out that the rider was George Washington. An act of kindness makes a person feel good regardless of The message is clear. Success and humility go hand in hand. whether he is doing it or it is done to him. Kind words never When others blow your horn, the sound goes further. Just hurt the tongue. think about it? Simplicity and humility are two hallmarks of Practice Courtesy on a Daily Basis greatness. Courtesy is nothing more than consideration for others. It Be Understanding and Caring opens doors that would not otherwise open. In relationships we all make mistakes and sometimes we are A courteous person who is not very sharp, will go further in life insensitive to the needs of others, especially those very close to than a discourteous but sharp person. us. All this leads to disappointment and resentment. The answer to handling disappointment is understanding. 13BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS “Courtesy Shows Good Upbringing” Many brilliant and talented people have destroyed their own success because they lack courtesy and manners. Politeness and courtesy are signs of being cultured. Rudeness and discourtesy show the lack of it. Treat other people with respect and dignity. Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength. Develop a Sense of Humour Some people are humor-impaired. Have a sense of humor and you will possess the ability to laugh at yourself. A sense of humor makes a person likable, popular and attractive. Learn to laugh at yourself because it is the safest humor. Laughing at yourself gives you the energy to bounce back. It is the little things that make a big difference. Have you ever Laughter is a natural tranquilizer for people all over the world. been bitten by an elephant? The most obvious answer is no. Humor may not change the message, but it certainly can help to Have you ever been bitten by a mosquito? take the sting out of the bite. Most of us have. It is the little irritants that test your patience. Courtesy is made of nothing more than many small gifts. Small courtesies will take a person much further than cleverness. Courtesy is an offshoot of deep moral behavior. It costs nothing but pays well. No one is too big or too busy to practice courtesy. Courtesy means giving your seat to a lady, the elderly or to the disabled. Courtesy can be a warm smile or a thank-you. It is a small investment but the payoffs are big. It enhances the other person’s self-worth. Courtesy requires humility. It is unfortu- nate when people become obnoxious; they detract from their positive traits. I have overheard people saying with pride, “1 can be pretty obnoxious.” Scatter the seeds of courtesy wherever you can. Some are bound to take root and elevate you in the eyes of others. THE HEALING POWER OF HUMOUR Manners Dr. Norman Cousins, author of Anatomy of an Illness, is a Courtesy and manners go hand in hand. It is equally important, prime example of how a person can cure himself of a terminal if not more, to practice manners at home and not just on illness. He had a I-in-SOO chance of recovery, but Cousin outsiders. Showing consideration and good manners brings wanted to prove that if there was anything like mind over out a feeling of warmth and acceptance in the home. Courtesy matter, he’d make it a reality. He figured if negative emotions means practicing good manners. caused negative chemicals in our body, then the reverse must be true too. Positive emotions, like happiness and laughter, would Besides being self-satisfying, politeness and courtesy have many bring positive chemicals into our system. He moved from the more advantages than rude behavior. Considering that, I hospital to a hotel and rented humorous movies and literally wonder why more people don’t practice courtesy. Rude arid cured himself by laughing. Of course, medical help is impor- discourteous people may get short-term results. Most people tant, but the will to live for the patient is equally, if not more, like to avoid dealing with such behavior and in the long run, important. rude people are disliked. Courteous behavior ought to be taught to children at an early age so that they can grow and Don’t Be Sarcastic and Put Others Down become mature, considerate adults. Courteous behavior, once Negative humor may include sarcasm, put-downs and hurtful learned, stays for life. It demonstrates a caring attitude and remarks. Any humor involving sarcasm that makes fun of sensitivity to other people’s feelings. It seems trivial and others is in poor taste. An injury is forgiven more easily than an unimportant, but little phrases such as, “please,” “thank-you” insult. and “I’m sorry” take a person a long way. When someone blushes with embarrassment, when someone Remember, being courteous will breed courtesy in return. carries away an ache, when something sacred is made to appear Practice as much and as often as you can. Initially, it may take common, when someone’s weakness provides the laughter, some attention, but the effort is well worth it. when profanity is required to make it funny, when a child is Politeness is the hallmark of gentleness. Courtesy is another brought to tears or when everyone can’t join in the laughter, it’s name for politeness. It costs a little but pays a lot, not only to a poor joke. the individual but also to the entire organization. 14BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS To a sadist everything is funny, so long as it is happening to The fellow from the tree came down and asked him, “What did someone else. It is not an uncommon sight to see boys the bear tell you?” The man replied, “He said, don’t trust a throwing stones at stray dogs just to have fun. The boys’ fun friend who deserts you in danger.” The message is as clear as means injury to the dogs. It is not fun for the dogs. daylight. Humor can be valuable or dangerous, depending on whether Mutual trust and confidence are the foundation stone of all you are laughing with someone or at someone. When humor friendship. involves making fun of or ridiculing others, it is not in good People Make Friends for Different Motives taste nor is it innocent. Hurting others’ feelings can be cruel. Friendship can be categorized as follows: Some people get their fun by putting others down. Sarcasm 1. Friendship of pleasure. You are a friend so long as the alienates people. It is a good idea to avoid sarcastic humor and relationship is entertaining and fun. Pleasure goes friendship keep it ‘low ­risk’. goes. To Have a Friend, Be a Friend 2. Friendship of convenience. This is where people make friends to gain something and are not lasting. There are three kinds: a) Proximity-I have my neighbour, it is convenient to socialize, we laugh together, share together. In case of emergency he is next door. It is convenient to be together. Proximity goes, friendship goes. b) Usefulness-He is well connected, financially well off, resourceful, he is a doctor, lawyer. Build and maintain the relationship, some day he could be useful. Usefulness goes, friendship goes. c) Common Enemy- There is a saying “my enemy’s enemy is my friend.” Common enemy goes, friendship also We keep looking for the right employer, the right employee, goes. spouse, parent, child and so on. We forget that we have to be True Friendship-is built on mutual respect. These are people the right person too. Experience has shown that there is no who have the good of each other at heart and act perfect person, no perfect job and no perfect spouse. When we accordingly. It is based on character and commitment. look for perfection, we are disappointed because all we find is There is lasting goodness at both ends. This lasts forever. that we traded one set of problems for another set of prob- Prosperity brings friends, adversity reveals them People who are lems. In the West with the high divorce rate, people find after true friends in the real sense help one another, but these are not they get married for the second time their new spouse doesn’t favors. They are acts incidental to friendship and never the have the problems of the first one but has a totally new set of purpose of it. If ever helping each other becomes the purpose problems. Similarly, people change jobs or fire employees of friendship. Purpose goes, friendship also goes. looking for the right one only to find that they traded one set of problems for another. Let’s try and work around these Relationships don’t just happen , they take time to build. They challenges and make divorcing or firing the last rather than the are built on kindness, understanding and self-sacrifice, not on first resort. jealousy, selfishness, puffed up egos and rude behavior. Relationships should never be taken for granted. Once relation- Sacrifice ships are established, they need to be nurtured constantly. Friendship takes sacrifice. Building friendships and relationships Nobody is perfect. Expecting perfection is setting yourself up takes sacrifice, loyalty and maturity. Sacrifice takes going out of for disappointment. one’s way and never happens by the way. Selfishness destroys friendships. Casual acquaintances come easy but true friendships Friendly Cooperation take time to build and effort to keep. Friendships are put to It is difficult to achieve success without the friendly cooperation tests and when they endure, they grow stronger. We must learn of others. A pleasing personality is flexible and adaptable while to recognize counterfeit relationships. True friends do not want maintaining composure. Flexibility does not mean flimsy or to see their friends hurt. True friendship gives more than it gets helpless behavior. It means assessing and responding appropri- and stands by adversity. ately and in a timely manner to a given situation. Flexibility does not stretch to principles and values. Fair-Weather Friend /opportunistic friendship A fair-weather friend is like one who lends you his umbrella Show Empathy when the sun is shining and takes it back the minute it rains. The wrong we do to others and what we suffer are weighed I Two men were traveling through the forest and came across a differently. Empathy alone is a very important characteristic of a bear. One of them quickly climbed a tree but the other was positive personality. People with empathy ask themselves this unable to, so he lay on the ground and played dead. The bear question: “How would I feel if someone treated me that way?” sniffed around his ear and left. 15BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS A boy went to the pet store to buy a puppy. Four puppies were 1. The disabled sitting together, priced at Rs.3000/- each. Then there was one 2. The elderly sitting alone in a corner. The boy asked if that was from the 3. Their subordinates same litter, if it was for sale, and why it was sitting alone. The These are the three groups of people who cannot stand up as store owner replied that it was from the same litter and that it equals for their rights. was a deformed one, and not for sale. Practical Session The boy asked what the deformity was. The store owner replied The students shall be told to evaluate three different situations that the puppy was born without a hip socket and had a leg that they have experienced earlier. They need to write down their missing. The boy asked, “What will you do with this one?” The reactions to those situations earlier and how they would reply was it would be put to sleep. The boy asked if he could approach them now. play with that puppy. The store owner said, “Sure.” The boy picked the puppy up and the puppy licked him on the ear. This would lead to a nice reflective discussion in the classroom Instantly the boy decided that was the puppy he wanted to buy. with each student focusing on his perspective towards real life The store owner said “That is not for sale” The boy insisted. situations. The store owner agreed. The boy pulled out Rs.100/- from his pocket and ran to get the rest of the cash from his mother. As he reached the door the store owner shouted after him, “I don’t understand why you would pay full money for this one when you could buy a good one for the same price.” The boy didn’t say a word. He just lifted his left trouser leg and he was wearing a brace. The pet store owner said, “I understand. Go ahead, take this one.” This is empathy. Be Sympathetic When you share sorrow, it divides; when you share happiness, it multiplies. Be a Better Person Resolve to be tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and wrong. Because some time in our lives we would have been all of these ourselves. What is the Difference Between Sympathy and Empathy? Sympathy is, “I understand how you feel” Empathy is, If I feel how you feel” Both sympathy and empathy are important. But of the two, empathy is certainly more important. When we empathize with our customers, employers, employees and families, what happens to our relation­ships? They improve. It generates understanding, loyalty, peace of mind and higher productivity. How do you judge the character of a person or, for that matter, of a community or a country? It is very easy. Just observe how the person or community treats these three categories of people: 16BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS LESSON 2 MOTIVATION What’s MOTIVATION? Contents: Motivation, meaning, How it works, difference between motivation and inspiration, internal and external motivation, motivators Learning Objective: Learn to get motivated Learn to motivate others. The next logical question is: what is motivation? Motiva­tion is a drive that encourages action or feeling. To motivate means to encourage and inspire. Motivation can also mean igniting the spark for action. Motivation is powerful. It can persuade, convince and propel you into action. In other words, motivation can be defined as MOTIVATION: the Key To Success motive for action. It is a force that can literally change your life. One must believe in two premises: Why do we need to get motivated? (a) Most people are good people, but they can do better; and Motivation is the driving force in our lives. It comes from a (b)Most people already know what to do to improve their lives. desire to succeed. Without success there is little pride in life; no enjoyment or excitement at work and at home. But the question is why aren’t they doing it? What is missing is the spark-motivation. Some self ­help The greatest enemy of motivation is complacency. Complacency books adopt the approach of teaching what to do; But let’s take leads to lack of effort, and when people are complacent they a different approach. I ask, “Why don’t you do it?” If you ask don’t grow because they cannot identify what is needed in their people on the street what should be done, they will give you all lives. the correct answers. But ask them whether they are doing it and MOTIVATION-How does it work? the answer will be no. What is lacking is motivation. Once you understand what causes motivation, you can motivate The most powerful motivation comes from within our belief yourself and achieve your goals-and you can motivate others system. To move into action, we need to believe in what we do too. and accept responsibility for our life. When we accept responsi- Your internal motivation is your drive and attitude. It is bility for our behavior and actions, our attitudes toward life contagious. Your attitudes are the key to getting the response becomes positive. We become more productive, both personally you want from others. and professionally. Our relationships improve both at home How does a person stay motivated and focused? One impor- and at work. Life becomes more meaningful and fulfilling. tant tool that has been used by athletes for a long time is After a person’s basic physical needs are met, emotional needs auto-suggestion or talking to oneself and reiterating the belief. become a bigger motivator. Every behavior comes out of the Auto-suggestions are positive statements made in the present “pain or gain” principle. If the pain is greater than the gain, that tense and repeated regularly. In other words, it is positive self- is a deterrent to action. If the gain is greater than the pain, that talk. is a “Motivator”. For example, let’s say you’re just starting a new job. Gains can be in the form of rewards, vacations and gifts. They can also be in the form of recognition, appreciation, sense of Several times each day you might say to yourself, “I feel more achievement, growth, responsibility, sense of fulfillment, self- and more confident every day.” Or let’s say your teenaged son is worth, accomplishment, and belief. going through a stage where everything he says seems to irritate you. You might repeat to yourself, “I will be calm and patient when I talk to him.” 17BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS The consequences of not performing to the expectations of our The difference between Motivation and decision makers often leads to our forced actions. Inspiration • It prevents losses by meeting deadlines. In the short run, the person’s performance may improve. • We learn from history that the pyramids were built by slaves. They had to be constantly watched and reprimanded for nonperformance. The disadvantages of fear motivation are: • It is external, which means the motivation is there while the motivator is there. When the motivator goes, the motivation also goes. • It causes stress. People need to motivate themselves on their own. What other’s • Performance is limited to compliance. can do, however, is inspire them to motivate themselves. People • In the long run, performance goes down. can create an environment that is motivating. • It destroys creativity. Inspiration is thought; motivation is action. When thinking • People get used to “the stick” and then a bigger stick is changes it reflects in behavior. In order to inspire people to needed. motivate themselves we need to understand their needs and • People who do just enough to get by so they don’t get fired wants. will never be valuable to any organization. What is the greatest motivator? Is it money? Recogni­tion? Improvement in the quality of our life? Acceptance by those we love or those whose decisions make a difference to our profes- sional standing? All of these can be motivating forces. People will do a lot for money, more for a good leader, but do the most for a belief. People die for their beliefs. This happens every day, all over the world. When we believe that we are responsible for our lives and our behaviors, our outlook towards life changes for the better. Motivation is like fire-unless you keep adding fuel to it, it dies. Your fuel is your belief in your inner values. When this belief in inner values feeds your motivation, your motivation becomes long lasting. Internal and External Motivation Motivation is classified into two types: external and internal. External Motivation External motivation comes from outside. Examples of external motivators are money, societal approval, fame or fear. (For A customer asked an employee, “When did you start working example, fear of getting scolded by parents or fear of getting here?” He replied, “Ever since they threatened to fire me.” fired at work). Incentive Motivation Fear 18BUSINESS CORPORATE SOFT SKILLS External motivation can also take the form of incentives, The boy replied, “Coach, my father is watching me today.” The bonuses, commission, recognition and so forth. coach turned around and looked at the place where the boy’s father used to sit. There was no one there. He said, “Son, your The major advantage of incentive motivation is that it works father used to sit there when you came for practice, but I don’t very well as long as the incentive is strong enough. Think of a see anyone there today. donkey with a carrot dangling in front and pulling a cart behind. Incentive motivation will work if the donkey is hungry enough, “The boy replied, “Coach, there is something I never told the carrot is sweet enough, and the load light enough. you. My father was blind. Just four days ago, he died. Today is the first day he is watching me from above.” From time to time, you have to let the donkey take a bite of the carrot; otherwise it is going to get discouraged. After the donkey Internal motivation comes from within, such as pride, a takes a bite, its stomach is full, and you need to wait for the sense of achievement, responsibility and belief. donkey to get hungry again before it will pull the cart. This same Internal motivation is the inner gratification, not for success or cycle is typically seen in our business environment. The moment winning, but for the fulfillment that comes from having done sales people meet their quotas they stop working. This is it. It is a feeling of accomplishment, rather than just achieving a because their motivation is limited to meeting their quotas. goal. Reaching an unworthy goal does not produce the gratify- That is external motivation, not internal. ing feeling. Internal motivation is lasting, because it comes from within and translates into self-motivation. Well…. There was a young boy who came regularly to soccer practice but Motivation needs to be identified and constantly strengthened never made it to the starting team. While he was practicing, his to succeed. Write down your goals. Keep them in front of you father would sit at the far end of the field, waiting for him. The and read them morning and evening. matches began and for four days, the boy didn’t show up for The two most important internal motivators are recogni- practice or the quarter­ or semi-finals. He appeared for the final tion and responsibility. game, went to the coach and said, “Coach, you have always kept Recognition means being appreciated; being treated with respect me in the reserves and never let me play in the games. But and dignity; and feeling a sense of belonging. today, please let me play.” The coach said, “Son, I’m sorry, I Responsibility gives a person a feeling of belonging and can’t let you. There are better players than you and besides, it is ownership. He then becomes part of the bigger picture. Lack of the finals; the reputation of the school is at stake and I cannot responsibility is de-motivating.Recognition is external because it take a chance on you.” originates from outside, through its manifestations (feelings) The boy pleaded, “Coach, I promise I will not let you down. I are internal. beg of you, please let me play.” The coach had never seen the Responsibility is internal as it originates from within. boy plead like this before. He said, “Okay son, go play. But remember, am going against my better judgment and the reputation of the school is at stake. Don’t let me down.” The game started and the boy played like a house on fire. Every time he got the ball, he shot a goal. Needless to say, he was the star of the game. His team had a spectacular win. When the game finished, the coach went up to him and said, “Son, how could I have been so wrong? I have never seen you play like this before. What happened? How did you play so well? Example: Take the case of Anu, a customer service representative who had been on the job for six years, a relatively long time in a job that had a high turnover rate. Anu liked her job­ she liked talking with customers and being a problem solver. What she didn’t like was the fact that most of the other customer service reps, who had been there less than two years, were on equal footing with her. She was frustrated and discouraged that many of the other reps were not willing to listen to her suggestions. When 19

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