Funny Jokes for the Classroom

200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom | download free pdf
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Published Date:02-07-2017
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A Joke-A-Day For The Classroom By Brandi Jordan, Managing Editor Of The Teachers’ Lounge, A Really Good Stuff® BlogA Joke-A-Day: 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom Happy, smiling children make for eager, engaged learners. With the myriad of testing and assessments that take place throughout the school year, it is nice to have a moment each day to make kids smile. Whether you start the morning off with a joke or fit it in between math and reading lessons, a kid-friendly joke, tongue twister, or riddle helps lighten the mood and gets your students thinking outside the box. Jokes and riddles offer a great segue into multiple word meanings, homophones, language manipulation, alliteration, and more. Need a new way to grab your ESL/ ELL students’ attention? Try telling them a joke. Want to challenge your students to use language in different ways? Ask them to write jokes and riddles. The inherent “fun factor” of jokes makes them an easy sell and much less intimidating than asking students to write a paragraph. If you think writing a joke is easy, think again. It requires students to not only understand the way words are put together, but encourages them to expand their vocabulary. With a strong emphasis in the Common Core State Standards on vocabulary, writing and telling jokes is the perfect, kid-friendly way to meet those standards. The 200 kid-friendly jokes in this book are great for classroom (or home) use. Encourage students to create a joke a day for your classroom and create a book that they can take home at the end of the year. Inspiration, humor, and kid-friendly fun are a sure-fire recipe for student success. Shop LikeUs Visit Our Blog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 1 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 1 □ DAy 8 Q: What do you get when you throw a Q: Why did the chicken go to jail? lot of books into the ocean? A: Because he was using fowl language. A: A title wave. □ DAy 9 □ DAy 2 Q: What has two legs but can’t walk? Q: What has four wheels and flies? A: A pair of pants. A: A trash truck. □ DAy 10 □ DAy 3 Q: Why was the math book always Q: Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up? worried? A: Because it was two tired. A: Because it had so many problems. □ DAy 4 □ DAy 11 Q: What do you call a boomerang that Q: Which school supply is king of the doesn’t come back? classroom? A: A stick. A: The ruler. □ DAy 5 □ DAy 12 Q: Why did the man take his clock to Q: Which vegetable should you never the vet? invite on a boat trip? A: Because it had ticks. A: A leek. □ DAy 13 Q: How did Benjamin Franklin feel when he discovered electricity? A: He was shocked. □ DAy 14 Q: Why did the horse chew with his mouth open? A: Because he had bad stable manners. □ DAy 6 Q: What did the mouse say to the □ DAy 15 other mouse when he tried to steal his Q: What’s a tornado’s favorite game to cheese? play? A: That’s nacho cheese. A: Twister. □ DAy 7 □ DAy 16 Q: Which is faster, heat or cold? Q: What do you give a sick lemon? A: Heat, because you can catch a cold. A: Lemon-aid. Shop Like Us Visit OurBlog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 2 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 17 □ DAy 26 Q: Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Q: Why did the pony get detention? A: Because he was always on the deck. A: Because he was horsing around. □ DAy 18 □ DAy 27 Q: Where do polar bears vote? Q: What lights up a stadium? A: At the North Pole. A: A soccer match. □ DAy 19 Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? A: Boo-berries. □ DAy 20 Q: Why did the robber take a shower? A: Because he wanted to make a clean getaway. □ DAy 21 Q: What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator was opened? A: Close the door I’m dressing □ DAy 28 Q: What’s bigger than an elephant, but □ DAy 22 doesn’t weigh anything? Q: What do you call a shoe made from A: His shadow. a banana? A: A slipper. □ DAy 29 Q: Why did the teacher have to wear □ DAy 23 sunglasses? Q: What did the apple tree say to the A: Because her students were so bright. farmer? A: Stop picking on me □ DAy 30 Q: Which bus crossed the ocean? □ DAy 24 A: Columbus. Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries? □ DAy 31 A: Because people are dying to get in. Q: What do you call a pig that does karate? □ DAy 25 A: A pork chop. Q: Where do cows go on the weekend? A: To the moo-vies. □ DAy 32 Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because seven eight nine. Shop Like Us Visit OurBlog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 3 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 33 □ DAy 42 Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? Q: How do monsters tell their A: A fsh. fortunes? A: They read their horror-scopes. □ DAy 34 Q: What do gymnasts, acrobats, and □ DAy 43 bananas all have in common? Q: Where does the witch park her A: They can all do splits. vehicle? A: In the broom closet. □ DAy 35 Q: What’s a frog’s favorite game? □ DAy 44 A: Hopscotch. Q: What is a witch’s favorite subject in school? □ DAy 36 A: Spelling. Q: What dies but never lives? A: A battery. □ DAy 45 Q: Why couldn’t the ghost see his □ DAy 37 parents? Q: What day of the week does the A: Because they were trans-parents. potato look forward to the least? A: Fry-day. □ DAy 46 Q: What do you do if you’re a fan of □ DAy 38 Dracula’s? Q: What do you call a seagull that flies A: You join his fang club. over the bay? A: A bagel. □ DAy 47 Q: Where do ghosts go for a □ DAy 39 swim? Q: What is Dracula’s A: The Dead Sea. favorite fruit? A: Neck-tarines. □ DAy 48 Q: Whom did the monster □ DAy 40 ask to kiss his boo-boos Q: What does a skeleton after he fell? order for dinner? A: His mummy. A: Spare ribs. □ DAy 49 □ DAy 41 Q: What makes a skeleton Q: What’s a ghost’s laugh? favorite dessert? A: When something tickles his A: Ice Scream. funny bone. Shop Like Us Visit OurBlog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 4 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 50 □ DAy 59 Q: What would you get if you crossed a Q: Which monster is the best dance teacher with a vampire? partner? A: Lots of blood tests. A: The Boogie Man. □ DAy 51 □ DAy 60 Q: Why did the skeleton cross the Q: What did the turkey stay before it road? was roasted? A: To get to the body shop. A: I’m stuffed □ DAy 52 □ DAy 61 Q: What do witches order at hotels? Q: Why was the turkey arrested? A: Broom service. A: It was suspected of fowl play. □ DAy 53 □ DAy 62 Q: Why did the Cyclops stop teaching? Q: What smells the best at A: Because he only had one pupil. Thanksgiving? A: Your nose. □ DAy 54 Q: Why didn’t Dracula have any □ DAy 63 friends? Q: What kind of weather does a turkey A: Because he was a pain in the neck. like? A: Fowl weather. □ DAy 55 Q: Where did the witch have to go □ DAy 64 when she misbehaved? Q: What always comes at the end of A: To her broom. Thanksgiving? A: The letter “g.” □ DAy 56 Q: What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman? A: Frostbite. □ DAy 57 Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite room in the house? A: The living room. □ DAy 58 Q: What do birds do on Halloween? A: They go trick or tweeting. Shop LikeUs VisitOur Blog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 5 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 71 Q: What type of diet did the snowman go on? A: The Meltdown Diet. □ DAy 72 Q: What did the snowman have for breakfast? A: Frosted Flakes. □ DAy 73 Q: What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month? □ DAy 65 A: The letter “d.” Q: Why couldn’t the turkey eat dessert? □ DAy 74 A: Because he was stuffed. Q: What often falls in winter, but never gets hurt? □ DAy 66 A: Snow. Q: What type of key is the most important at Thanksgiving dinner? □ DAy 75 A: The tur-key. Q: Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer? □ DAy 67 A: Because he liked cool music. Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers? □ DAy 76 A: The outside. Q: What’s brown and sneaks around the kitchen? □ DAy 68 A: Mince spies. Q: Are turkey leftovers good for your health? □ DAy 77 A: Not if you’re the turkey Q: What’s the difference between a Christmas alphabet and the regular □ DAy 69 alphabet? Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The Christmas alphabet has Noel. A: The elf-abet. □ DAy 78 □ DAy 70 Q: What happened to the man who Q: What do you get if you cross a pine stole a calendar from the store? tree with an apple? A: He got 12 months. A: A pine-apple. Shop Like Us Visit OurBlog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 6 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 79 □ DAy 88 Q: Why was Santa’s helper sad? Knock, knock. A: Because he had low elf-esteem. Who’s there? Wet. □ DAy 80 Wet who? Q: What does Santa clean his sleigh Wet me in, it’s raining out here with? A: Comet. □ DAy 89 Q: If a butcher wears a size XL shirt □ DAy 81 and a size 13 shoe, what does he weigh? Q: What did the stamp say to the A: Meat. envelope? A: I’m stuck on you. □ DAy 90 Q: What did the baker say to his wife? □ DAy 82 A: I’m dough-nuts about you Q: What did the paper clip say to the magnet? □ DAy 91 A: I find you very attractive. Q: What did the squirrel give for Valentine’s Day? □ DAy 83 A: Forget-me-nuts. Q: What kind of flower do you never want to get on Valentine’s Day? □ DAy 92 A: Cauliflower. Q: What do you call two birds in love? A: Tweet-hearts. □ DAy 84 Q: What do elephants say to one □ DAy 93 another on Valentine’s Day? Knock, knock. A: I love you a ton. Who’s there? Arthur. □ DAy 85 Arthur who? Q: What’s easy to get into, but hard to Arthur anymore chocolates left? get out of? A: Trouble. □ DAy 94 Q: What did the monster ask his □ DAy 86 sweetheart? Q: Why is the forest so noisy? A: Will you be my Valen-slime? A: Because the trees have bark. □ DAy 95 □ DAy 87 Q: What did the boy pickle say to the Q: What has an eye, but cannot see? girl pickle? A: A needle (or potato, tornado, hurricane, etc.). A: You mean a great dill to me. Shop LikeUs VisitOur Blog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 7 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 96 □ DAy 103 Q: What did the farmer give his wife Q: What did the snowman order at ® for Valentine’s Day? Wendy’s ? A: Hogs and kisses. A: A Frosty □ DAy 97 □ DAy 104 Q: What did the owl say to his Q: Why can’t skeletons play music? sweetheart? A: Because they have no organs. A: Owl be yours. □ DAy 105 □ DAy 98 Q: How do you catch an unusual Q: What did the calculator say to the rabbit? other calculator on Valentine’s Day? A: Unique up on it. A: Let me count the ways I love you. □ DAy 106 Q: What’s the best way to talk to a T-Rex? A: From a distance. □ DAy 107 Q: What kind of music do mummies like best? A: Wrap. □ DAy 99 Q: What did one piece of string say to □ DAy 108 the other piece of string? Q: Why did the elephant cross the road? A: Will you be my Valen-twine? A: Because it was the chicken’s day off. □ DAy 100 □ DAy 109 Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to Q: Where can you learn to make ice school? cream? A: He wanted to go to high school. A: At Sundae School. □ DAy 101 □ DAy 110 Q: What are there a lot of when Q: Why did the boy run around his bed? turkeys play baseball? A: He was trying to catch up on his sleep. A: Fowl balls. □ DAy 111 □ DAy 102 Q: What do you call an elephant in a Q: Where do pencils go for vacation? phone booth? A: Pencil-vania. A: Stuck Shop LikeUs VisitOur Blog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 8 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 112 □ DAy 121 Q: How does the Easter Bunny travel? Q: What’s a rabbit’s favorite kind of A: By hare-plane. music? A: Hip-hop. □ DAy 113 Q: What runs but never walks? □ DAy 122 A: A hose. Q: Where’s a wall’s favorite place to meet his friends? □ DAy 114 A: At the corner. Q: Which flower talks the most? A: Tulips, because they have two lips. □ DAy 123 Q: Where did the king keep his army? □ DAy 115 A: In his sleeve. Q: What did the spoon say to the knife? □ DAy 124 A: “You’re so sharp” Q: Why don’t animals eat clowns? A: They taste funny □ DAy 116 Q: How did the hairdresser win the □ DAy 125 race? Q: Where do books hide when they’re A: She knew a shortcut. scared? A: Under their covers. □ DAy 117 Q: Why are fish so smart? □ DAy 126 A: Because they are always in a school. Q: What’s a scarecrow’s favorite fruit? A: Strawberries. □ DAy 118 Q: What did the dinner plate say to the □ DAy 127 cup? Q: Why can’t the elephant use the A: Dinner’s on me tonight. computer? A: Because he’s afraid of the mouse. □ DAy 119 Q: What did the circle say to the □ DAy 128 triangle? Knock, knock. A: I don’t see your point. Who’s there? Who. □ DAy 120 Who who? Q: What’s black and white over and Is there an owl in here? over again? A: A penguin rolling down a hill. Shop Like Us Visit OurBlog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 9 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 129 □ DAy 137 Q: What do ghosts use to wash their Q: Why is 1+1=3 like your left foot? hair? A: It’s not right. A: Sham-BOO. □ DAy 138 □ DAy 130 Q: Where do kids in New York City Q: What did the carrot say to the learn multiplication? mushroom? A: In Times Square. A: You’re a fungi (fun guy). □ DAy 139 □ DAy 131 Q: Why did everyone want the music Q: What did the hamburger name her teacher to be on their baseball team? daughter? A: Because she had the perfect pitch. A: Patty. □ DAy 140 □ DAy 132 Q: Why are elephants such bad Q: What do a car and an elephant have dancers? in common? A: Because they have two left feet. A: They both have trunks. □ DAy 141 □ DAy 133 Q: What starts and ends with “e” and Knock, knock. only has one letter? Who’s there? A: An envelope. Tank. Tank who? You’re welcome □ DAy 134 Q: Why do cowboys ride horses? A: Because they’re too heavy to carry. □ DAy 135 Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite type of dessert? A: Pi. □ DAy 142 Knock, knock. □ DAy 136 Who’s there? Q: Why was the cafeteria clock always Cows go. behind? Cows go who? A: Because it went back for seconds. No, silly, cows go MOO Shop LikeUs Visit OurBlog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 10 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 143 □ DAy 151 Q: What’s a math teacher’s favorite Q: How did the boy react when his tool? turtle died? A: Multipliers. A: He was shell-shocked. □ DAy 144 □ DAy 152 Knock, knock. Q: What’s a spider’s favorite thing to Who’s there? do on a computer? Cash. A: Make websites. Cash who? No, thanks, I prefer peanuts. □ DAy 153 Q: What kind of table can you have for □ DAy 145 dinner? Q: What should you do if your teacher A: A vege-table. rolls her eyes at you? A: Roll them back, of course □ DAy 154 Q: What’s a librarian’s favorite type of □ DAy 146 bait when fishing? Q: Why do bees have sticky hair? A: Bookworms. A: Because they have honeycombs. □ DAy 155 □ DAy 147 Q: What did one eye say to the other? Knock, knock. A: Between you and I, something smells. Who’s there? Pecan. □ DAy 156 Pecan who? Q: Why did the girl put lipstick on her Pecan someone your own size head? A: Because she wanted to make-up her mind □ DAy 148 Q: Why didn’t the oven go to college? □ DAy 157 A: Because it had a lot of degrees already. Q: What’s a cannibal’s favorite sport? A: Football. □ DAy 149 Q: What did the teacher do at the □ DAy 158 beach? Q: What did the ocean say to the A: She tested the water. beach? A: Nothing, it just waved. □ DAy 150 Q: What time is it when you have a toothache? A: Tooth Hurty. Shop Like Us VisitOur Blog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 11 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 159 Q: What do you call a worm with no teeth? A: A gummy worm. □ DAy 160 Q: Why was the computer cold? A: Because it left the Windows open □ DAy 161 Q: Why do eggs hate jokes? □ DAy 167 A: Because they crack up. Q: What’s the smartest insect around? A: The spelling bee. □ DAy 162 Q: What type of dog loves going to the □ DAy 168 groomer? Q: Why did the cabbage beat the carrot A: A shampoodle. in a race? A: Because it was a-head. □ DAy 163 Q: What did the doctor diagnose the □ DAy 169 horse with when he wasn’t feeling Knock, knock. well? Who’s there? A: Hay fever. Leaf. Leaf who? □ DAy 164 Leaf me alone please, I’m thinking. Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter? □ DAy 170 A: Because it’s too far to walk. Q: Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they fly? □ DAy 165 A: They would quack up Knock, knock. Who’s there? □ DAy 171 Nobel. Q: What’s a bat’s favorite pastime? Nobel who? A: Hanging out with his friends. There’s nobel, that’s why I’m knocking. □ DAy 172 □ DAy 166 Q: Where do polar bears keep their Q: What lies at the bottom of the money? ocean and worries? A: In snow banks. A: A nervous wreck. Shop LikeUs Visit Our Blog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 12 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 173 □ DAy 181 Knock, knock. Q: What’s a cat’s favorite nursery Who’s there? rhyme? Canoe. A: Three Blind Mice. Canoe who? Canoe help me with my homework □ DAy 182 please? Knock, knock. Who’s there? □ DAy 174 Nana. Q: How do bears keep their den cool in Nana who? the summer? Nana your business. A: They use bear-conditioning. □ DAy 183 □ DAy 175 Q: Why did the dog keep tripping? Q: Why was the clown crying? A: Because she had two left feet. A: Because he broke his funny bone. □ DAy 184 □ DAy 176 Q: What did the duck say to the clown? Q: What did the paper say to A: You quack me up encourage the pencil? A: Write on, good friend □ DAy 185 Q: Where do baby pens spend their □ DAy 177 day? Q: Where can you always find a A: In their play pen. peacock? A: In the dictionary. □ DAy 186 Knock, knock. □ DAy 178 Who’s there? Q: What is a top’s favorite ride at the Needle. amusement park? Needle who? A: The merry-go-round. Needle little more money for this toy please. □ DAy 179 Q: What is a kitten’s favorite dessert? □ DAy 187 A: Mice cream. Q: What has 18 legs and catches flies? A: A baseball team. □ DAy 180 Q: Where did the bird go when he lost □ DAy 188 a feather? Q: Why is it not a good idea to try to A: The re-tail shop. trick a snake? A: Because you can’t pull his leg. Shop Like Us Visit OurBlog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 13 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom □ DAy 189 □ DAy 194 Knock, knock. Q: What did the Who’s there? farmer say to Yukon. the horse when Yukon who? he walked in the Yukon a let us in? It’s raining out here barn? A: “Why the long face?” □ DAy 190 Q: What was the banker’s favorite □ DAy 195 player on the football team? Q: How long A: The quarterback. should an elephant’s legs be? □ DAy 191 A: Long enough to reach the ground. Knock, knock. Who’s there? □ DAy 196 Banana. Q: What do you call a left-handed dog? Banana who? A: A south paw. Knock, knock. Who’s there? □ DAy 197 Banana. Q: What gives you the power to walk Banana who? through a wall? Knock, knock. A: A door. Who’s there? Banana. □ DAy 198 Banana who? Q: Why did the book join the police Knock, knock. force? Who’s there? A: He wanted to go undercover. Orange. Orange who? □ DAy 199 Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? Q: What did the students do when their shoelaces got tangled together? □ DAy 192 A: They went on a class trip. Q: What bird loves construction work? A: A crane. □ DAy 200 Q: Why do bananas have to put □ DAy 193 sunscreen on before they go to the Q: Why couldn’t the boy go to the beach? pirate movie? A: Because they peel A: Because it was rated “ARRR” Shop LikeUs VisitOur Blog ® ©2013 Really Good Stuff 1-800-366-1920 blog.ReallyGoodStuff.comA Joke-A-Day 14 200 Kid-Friendly Jokes For The Classroom ® Really Good Stuff Resources Check out all of the Really Good Stuff Free e-Books online. You will find help with everything from Really Good Bulletin Boards to Back-to-School Night. ® Get Connected With Really Good Stuff ® Really Good Stuff maintains an online teacher community. 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