How to Make Good first Impressions

how to make a good first impression at work experience and how to make good first impression at job interview and in business and good first impression on a girl
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Published Date:15-07-2017
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GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS How to Become Skilled WHERE LEADERS in Nonverbal Communication ARE MADEGESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS TOASTMASTERS INTERNATIONAL P.O. Box 9052 • Mission Viejo, CA 92690 USA Phone: 949-858-8255 • Fax: 949-858-1207 © 2011 Toastmasters International. All rights reserved. Toastmasters International, the T oastmasters International logo, and all other Toastmasters International trademarks and copyrights are the sole property of Toastmasters International and may be used only with permission. WHERE LEADERS Rev.6/2011 Item201 ARE MADE CONTENTS Gestures: Your Body Speaks . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Actions Speak Louder Than Words . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 The Principle of Empathy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Why Physical Action Helps . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Five Ways to Make Your Body Speak Effectively . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Your Speaking Posture . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7 Gestures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Why Gestures? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Types of Gestures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 How to Gesture Effectively . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9 Body Movement . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Facial Expressions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 12 Eye Contact . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Why is Eye Contact Essential? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 How to Use Your Eyes Effectively . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14 How to Make a Good First Impression . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Your Appearance . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Before You Speak . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 The First Minute . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Thumbs Up On Gestures . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Evaluating Your Body’s Spoken Image . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 2 GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKSore than half of all human communication takes place nonverbally. You are constantly sending nonverbal messages – even as you read these words. M When you speak in public, your listeners judge you and your message based on what they see as well as on what they hear. Here’s how to use your body to effectively enhance your message. GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS When you present a speech, you send two kinds of messages to your audience. While your voice transmits a verbal message, a vast amount of information is being visually conveyed by your appearance, your manner, and your physical behavior. Research shows that more than half of all human communication takes place nonverbally. When you speak before a group, your listeners base their judgment of you and your message on what they see as well as upon what they hear. In public speaking, your body can be an effective tool for adding emphasis and clarity to your words. It’s also your most powerful instrument for convincing an audience of your sincerity, earnestness, and enthusiasm. However, if your physical actions are distracting or suggest meanings that do not agree with your verbal message, your body can defeat your words. Whether your purpose is to inform, persuade, entertain, motivate, or inspire, your body and the personality you project must be appropriate to what you say. To become an effective speaker, you must understand how your body speaks. You can’t stop se nding your audience nonverbal messages, but you can learn to manage and control them. That’s the purpose of this m anual: To help you learn to use your entire body as an instrument of speech. As you read on, you’ll learn how non verbal messages affect an audience, what kinds of information they transmit, how nervousness can be alleviated by purposeful physical actions, and how to make your body speak as eloquently as your words. Included are how-to sections on proper speaking posture, gestures, body movement, facial expression, eye contact, and making a positive first impression on an audience. Also featured is a special evaluation form that can help you identify your body’s spoken image. With it you’ll be able to determine your nonverbal strengths and challenges and eliminate any physical behavior that detracts from what you say during a speech. You can then use your body as a tool to make you a more effective speaker. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS Your goal in public speaking is to communicate. To be an effective speaker, you must project earnestness, enthusiasm, and sincerity by making your manner and actions affirm what you say. If they don’t, the results can be disastrous. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What you are speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.” When you speak, people not only judge your speech – they also judge you. If they are not convinced of your earnestness and sincerity, they are also unlikely to accept your spoken message. What you are is more clearly communicated through your nonverbal behavior than through your words. When presenting a speech, your listeners will use their visual sense to determine if you: GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS 3Learn to Look for Body Language mid polite applause, the speaker shuffled toward the  are sincere Aplatform, his face registering the look of someone being  welcome the opportunity to address led to the guillotine. Upon arrival, he set down a pile of notes them and sighed audibly. After tugging at his necktie, adjusting his eyeglasses and clearing his throat, he fixed a doleful gaze on  truly believe what you’re saying the room’s back wall.  are interested in them and care “It’s a great pleasure to be here today,” he said. “I have a about them message of extreme importance for you.” Many people in the audience were already fidgeting. It  are confident and in control of was obvious that others were focused elsewhere. Ten seconds the situation. after it began, the speech was already over. Why? The Principle of Empathy To begin with, the speaker set himself up for failure by Part of the impact your physical behavior sending his listen ers a dou ble-edged message. What they saw has on an audience can be explained by contradicted what they heard, and when this happens, the audience inevitably trusts only what it sees the concept of empathy, the ability to Even though the speaker’s words expressed pleasure in share in another person’s emotions or feel- addressing the audience, his nonverbal message said, ings. When you speak, the people in your “I don’t want to be here.” Those same words declared that his audience tend to mirror your attitudes. speech was important to his listeners – but his body indicated They unconsciously feel what you feel and that his message wasn’t important to him. Simulta neously, his respond accordingly. So it’s vital that your facial expression gave the appearance that he cared very little body faithfully portray your true feelings. about his audience. If you appear relaxed and confident, None of these visual messages was performed consciously; your audience will also feel relaxed and con- they were generated by simple nervousness and inexperience. fident. If you smile at your listeners, they will Yet they branded this unfortunate speaker as insincere and perceive you as a friendly person and smile indifferent – even though he was none of those things. back at you. And, most important, if they’re convinced you are sincere and trustworthy, they will pay a ttention to what you say and evaluate it on its own merits. Of course, this process can work the other way. If you appear uneasy, your audience also will be uneasy. If you frown – even unconsciously – your listeners usually will frown back at you. If you don’t look at them, they will feel excluded. And if you fidget, they will perceive a lack of self-control and lose confidence in you and in what you say. Why Physical Action Helps When you demonstrate purposeful, effective physical action while speaking in front of an audience, you provide a true barometer of your feelings and attitudes. But there are other benefits as well: 1. Messages Are More Memorable. People become bored with static presentations. That’s why television newscasts almost always include film showing some kind of action. If a fire, protest demonstration, or some other visually exciting activity occurs, the newscast will usually lead with it – even if it’s not the most significant news story. A newscast focusing on “talking heads” would soon lose viewers, who could get as much information from radio. On the other hand, it’s difficult not to look at a moving object. At Toastm as ters meetings you’ve probably noticed how people pay attention to visual distractions. A late-comer’s arrival or a flashing t iming light usually siphons attention away from a speech. 4 GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS People also remember messages that reach multiple senses. We remember more of what we see than what we hear. However, we remember best when both our visual and auditory senses are involved. As a speaker you can capitalize on these tendencies by providing visual stimuli that capture your audience’s attention and enhance retention of your verbal messages. Gestures, body movements, facial expressions – all of these can be valuable tools when skillfully employed. 2 . Punctuation Adds Meaning. Written language has a whole array of symbols for punctuating messages: commas, periods, exclama- tion points, and so on. But when you speak, you use an entirely different set of symbols to show the audience what parts of your speech are most important and to add power and vitality to your words. Some are performed with the voice. Just as effective are gestures, body movements, and facial expressions. However, to achieve the greatest possible impact, you should coordinate your voice and body, making them work together. The more communication methods you employ, the more effectively you will communicate. 3 . Nervous Tension Is Channeled. Being nervous before a speech is, to a certain extent, healthy. It shows you care about doing well. Many of the world’s top entertainers readily admit they are nervous before a performance. But true fear – the kind that ruins a speech – will keep you from becoming an effective speaker. Fear and nervousness in public speaking work on three levels: mental, emotional, and physical. A speaker’s mental and emotional fears are conq uered by self-confidence – a byproduct of preparation and experience. You can best control the physical manifestations of fear and nervousness, however, through conscious use of gestures and body movements. Public speaking activates the adrenal glands. Your heartbeat quickens. Your breathing becomes s hallow and more rapid. Your muscles tense. Since the body will do almost anything to relieve tension, you might unconsciously p erform mannerisms that will distract your audience – unless you can dissipate the tension. Gestures and body movements can help you harness your nervous energy and make it work for you instead of against you. FIVE WAYS TO MAKE YOUR BODY SPEAK EFFECTIVELY How can you marshal your nonverbal tools – posture, gestures, body movements, facial expressions, and eye contact – and use them effectively when you speak? In this section you’ll learn five general methods for strengthening your body’s spoken image. 1. Eliminate Distracting Mannerisms. Dr. Ralph C. Smedley, the founder of Toastmasters Inter national, wrote, “The speaker who stands and talks at ease is the one who can be heard without weariness. If his posture and gestures are so graceful and unobtrusive that no one notices them, he may be counted truly successful.” When your actions are wedded to your words, you will strengthen the impact of your speech – even if the audience doesn’t consciously notice them. But if your platform behavior contains mannerisms not related to your spoken message, those actions will call attention to themselves and away from your speech. In fact, rather than adding physical characteristics, sometimes the enterprising speaker must work on removing impediments. What are these impediments? At your next Toastmasters meeting, watch the speakers closely. You’ll probably detect at least a few visual distractions in each person’s delivery. GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS 5Some mannerisms involve the whole body, such as  rocking  swaying  pacing. Others that commonly plague i nexp erienced or ineffective speakers include  gripping or leaning on the lectern  tapping the fingers  biting or licking the lips  jingling pocket change  frowning  adjusting hair or clothing  turning the head and eyes from side to side like an o scillating fan. Most of these actions have two things in common: First, they are p hysical manifestations of simple nervousness; second, they are performed unconsciously – the speaker isn’t aware that he or she is doing them. Most of us are aware of our verbal mistakes. But unless we have access to video equipment and can have our movements recorded, many of our distracting mannerisms go unchallenged. The first step in eliminating superfluous manne risms is to obtain an accurate perception of your body’s spoken image. And to do this, you need help. On page 17 is a special form designed to give you an appraisal of how you appear as a speaker. With the help of this form and a fellow club member, you’ll discover if you have any bad habits. Your next step is to eliminate any physical behavior that doesn’t add to your speeches. You can accomplish this by being aware of your problem areas and by conscious self-monitoring during future presentations. If you have several problem areas, work on one at a time. As each is eliminated, move on to the next. 2 . Be Natural, Spontaneous, and Conversational. The single most important rule for making your body speak effectively is to be yourself. Today’s favored speaking style can best be described as amplified conversation. It’s much more informal than the grandiose style that characterized public orators in years past. The em phasis is on communication and the sharing of ideas – not on p erformance or sermonizing. Don’t try to imitate another speaker. Instead, let yourself respond naturally and spontaneously to what you th ink, feel, and say. Strive to be as genuine and natural as when you talk with friends or family members. 3 . Let Your Body Mirror Your Feelings. The “father of modern public speaking,” Dale Carnegie, wrote, “A person under the influence of his feelings projects the real self, acting naturally and spontaneously. A speaker who is interested will usually be interesting.” If you are interested in your subject, believe in what you are saying, and want to share your message with o thers, your physical movements will come from within and be appropriate to what you’re saying. 6 GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKSBy involving yourself in your message you’ll be n atural and spontaneous without h aving to c onsciously think about it. 4. Build Self-Confidence through Preparation. Nothing influences a speaker’s mental attitude more than the knowledge that he or she is thoroughly prepared. This knowledge inspires self-confidence, a vital ingredient of effective public speaking. When you’re well-prepared, your behavior can be directed outward toward your audience instead of inward toward your own anxieties. You’ll be less likely to send visual messages that c ontradict what you’re saying, and you will find it easier to be natural and spontaneous. Almost effortlessly, you’ll project the magic qualities of sincerity, earnestness, and enthusiasm. Practice and rehearse your material until it becomes part of you, but do not try to memorize your speech verbatim. This can defeat your preparation because the conscious effort required to recall each word will make you nervous and tense. Instead, know your material so well that you need only memo- rize the flow of ideas. You’ll find the words will spring forth spontaneously. 5 . Use Your Club as a Learning Laboratory. The key to improving your performance in any endeavor is to practice. Your Toastmasters club offers you a practical workshop where you’ll gain valuable experience. It’s a place where mistakes cost you nothing and the audience is always patient, supportive, and helpful. Attend meetings faithfully and speak as often as possible. Welcome feedback provided by your evaluators and closely heed comments relating to your physical pl atform behavior. By incor porating what you learn from this manual into your regular assignments, you’ll become adept in all facets of public speaking. YOUR SPEAKING POSTURE How you position your body when you speak communicates its own set of visual messages to an audience. More than a nything, it reflects your attitude, telling your listeners whether you’re confident, alert, and in command of yourself and the speaking situation. Good speaking posture has other bene fits to a speaker. It helps you to breathe properly and project your voice effectively. It also provides a good starting point from which to gesture or move your body in any d irection. And by helping you to feel both alert and c omfortable, it helps decrease nervous tension and minimize random, distracting movements. What constitutes proper speaking posture? Ask another person to read the next two paragraphs aloud as you follow the instructions: Stand straight but not rigid, with your feet about six to 12 i nches apart and one slightly ahead of the other. Balance your weight evenly on the balls of your feet. Lean forward just a little. Your knees should be straight but not locked. Relax your shoulders, but don’t let them droop. Keep your chest up and your stomach in. Your head should be erect and your chin up, but not uncomfortably so. Let your arms hang naturally at your sides, with your fingers slightly curled. Now, take a few deep, full breaths. Do you feel comfortable? Your stance should be alert but not stiff, relaxed but not sloppy. If this position doesn’t feel natural for you, try repositioning your feet slightly until your body feels in balance. Do not maintain the same position throughout a presentation. But when you move from one spot to another, perform a gesture or vary your stance, be sure to balance your body once your movement is concluded. GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS 7GESTURES A gesture is a specific bodily movement that reinforces a verbal message or conveys a particular thought or emotion. Although gestures may be made with the head, shoulders, or even the legs and feet, most are made with the hands and arms. Your hands can be marvelous tools of communication when you speak. But many inexperienced speakers are unsure what to do with their hands. Some try to get them out of the way by putting them in their pock- ets or behind their backs. Others unconsciously relieve nervous t ension by performing awkward, distracting movements. A few speakers over-gesture out of nervousness, waving their arms and hands wildly. A speaker’s gestures can suggest very precise meaning to an audience. The Indians of North America devised a sign language that enabled people with entirely different spoken languages to converse. Sign language has also made it possible for deaf people to communicate without speaking. The use of gestures in communication varies from one culture to the next. In some cultures, such as those of Southern Europe and the Middle East, people use their hands freely and expressively when they speak. In other cultures, people use gestures less frequently and in a more subdued way. The specific gesture we make and the meanings we attach to them are products of our cultural training. Just as cultures differ, so do the perceived meanings of gestures. For example, nodding one’s head up and down signifies agreement or assent in Western cultures – but in some parts of India this gesture means the exact opposite. A common g esture used in the United States – that of making a circle with the thumb and forefinger to indicate approval – is cons idered an insult and an obscenity in many areas of the world. To be effective, a speaker’s gestures must be purposeful – even if they’re performed unconsciously. They must be visible to the audience. They must mean the same thing to the audience that they mean to the speaker. And they must reflect what’s being said, as well as the total personality behind the message. Why Gestures? All good speakers use gestures. Why? Gestures are probably the most evocative form of nonverbal communi- cation a speaker can employ. No other kind of physical action can enhance your speeches in as many ways as gestures. They:  Clarify and support your words. Gestures strengthen the audience’s understanding of your verbal message.  Dramatize your ideas. Together with what you say, gestures help paint vivid pictures in your listeners’ minds.  Lend emphasis and vitality to the spoken word. Gestures convey your feelings and attitudes more clearly than what you say.  Help dissipate nervous tension. Purposeful gestures are a good outlet for the nervous energy i nherent in a speaking situation.  Function as visual aids. Gestures enhance audience attentiveness and retention.  Stimulate audience p articipation. Gestures help you indicate the response you seek from your listeners.  Are highly visible. Gestures provide visual support when you address a large number of people and the entire a udience may not see your eyes. 8 GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKSTypes of Gestures Despite the vast number of movements that qualify as gestures, all gestures can be grouped into one of the following major categories: Descriptive gestures clarify or enhance a verbal message. They help the audience understand comparisons and contrasts, and visualize the size, shape, movement, location, function, and number of objects. Emphatic gestures underscore what’s being said. They indicate earnestness and conviction. For example, a clenched fist suggests strong feeling, such as anger or determination. Suggestive gestures are symbols of ideas and emotions. They help a speaker create a desired mood or express a particular thought. An open palm suggests giving or receiving, usually of an idea, while a shrug of the shoulders indicates ignorance, p erplexity, or irony. Prompting gestures are used to help evoke a desired response from the audience. If you want listeners to raise their hands, applaud, or perform some specific action, you’ll enhance the resp onse by doing it yourself as an example. Gestures made above the shoulder level suggest physical height, inspiration, or emotional exultation. Gestures made below shoulder level indicate rejection, apathy, or condemnation. Those made at or near shoulder level suggest calmness or serenity. The most frequently used gestures involve an open palm held outward toward the audience. The mean- ing of this type of gesture depends on the position of the palm. Holding the palm upward implies giving or receiving, although this gesture is sometimes used as an unconscious movement, with no specific intended meaning. A palm held downward can express suppression, secrecy, completion, or stability. A palm held outward toward the audience suggests halting, repulsion, negation, or abhorrence. If the palm is held perpen- dicular to the speaker’s body, it tends to imply measurement, limits in space or time, comparisons, or contrasts. How to Gesture Effectively Gestures reflect each speaker’s individual personality. What’s right for one speaker probably won’t work for you. However, the following six rules apply to almost everyone who seeks to become a d ynamic, effective speaker. 1. Respond Naturally to What You Think, Feel, and Say. When you present a speech, you n aturally express yourself though g est ures. No matter what our personality or cultural background may be, every one of us has a natural impulse to punctuate and strengthen our words with gestures. The trick is not to suppress that impulse by retreating behind a mask of impassiveness; this can only create a buildup of tension. At the same time, don’t get gestures out of a book or from another speaker. Be genuinely and spontaneously y ourself. If you impose artificial gestures onto your natural style, your audience will sense it and label you a phony. Some people are naturally animated, while others are naturally reserved. If you naturally use your hands freely when you converse informally, use them freely when you give a speech. If you’re by nature a reserved, low-key person, don’t change your personality just to suit public speaking situations. 2 . Create the Conditions for Gesturing – Not the Gesture. Your gestures should be a natural outgrowth of your own unique thoughts and feelings. They should arise naturally and habitually from your attitude toward the message you present. GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS 9 When you speak, you should be totally involved in communicating – not in thinking about your hands. Your gestures need to be motivated by the content of your presentation. By immersing yourself in your subject m atter, you will create the conditions that will enable you to respond naturally with appropriate gestures. 3 . Suit the Action to the Word and the Occasion. Your visual and verbal messages must act as partners in communicating the same thought or feeling. When a speaker fails to match gestures with words, the outcome can be wooden, artificial, and some- times comical. Every gesture you make should be purposeful and reflective of your words. In this way your listeners will note the effect rather than the gesture. Make sure the vigor and frequency of your gestures are appropriate for your words. Use strong, emphatic gestures only when your feeling for the message calls for them. On occasion, you may need to adapt your gestures to fit the size and nature of your audience. Generally speaking, the larger the audience, the broader and slower your gestures should be. Also keep in mind that young audiences are usually attracted to a speaker who uses vigorous gestures, but older, more conservative groups may feel irritated or threatened by a speaker whose physical actions are too powerful. Your gestures during a speech are also affected by the logistics of the speaking situation. When you speak from a physically confining position, you may be restricted from using broad, sweeping gestures. A common example of a confining speaking position is a head table, where people are seated close to the speaker. 4. Make Your Gestures Convincing. Your gestures should be lively and dist inct if they’re to convey the intended impression. A gesture performed in a half-hearted manner suggests that the speaker lacks con viction and earnestness. Every hand gesture should be a total body movement that starts from the shoulder – never from the elbow. Move your entire arm outward from your body freely and easily. Keep your wrists and fingers supple, rather than stiff or tense. Effective gestures are vigorous enough to be convincing, yet slow enough and broad enough to be clearly visible. Your gestures should be distinct but not jerky, and they should never follow a set pattern. 5 . Make Your Gestures Smooth and Well-Timed. Any single gesture has three parts: the approach, the stroke, and the return. During the approach, your body begins to move in anticipation of the gesture. The stroke is the gesture itself, and the return brings your body back to a b alanced speaking posture. The flow of a gesture – balance, approach, stroke, return, balance – must be smoothly executed in such a way that only the stroke is evident to the audience. Just as timing is an essential ingredient of comedy, a gesture’s timing is just as important as its q uality. The stroke must come on the correct word – neither before nor after it. However, the approach can be initiated well before the stroke; in fact, you can obtain an especially powerful effect by a pproaching a gesture several seconds in advance, then holding the approach until the exact instant of the stroke. The return simply involves dropping your hands smoothly to your sides – it doesn’t have to be rushed. Don’t try to memorize g estures and incorporate them into a speech. Memorized gestures usually fail, because the speaker cues himself or he rself by the word the gesture is designed to punctuate. This results in the gesture following the word, which looks artificial and foolish. 10 GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS6. Make Natural, Spontaneous Gesturing a Habit. The first step in becoming adept at g esturing is to determine what you’re doing now. Use the evaluation form on page 17 and the help of a fellow Toastm aster to find out if you have any bad habits. If you do, strive to eliminate them from your body’s spoken image. To improve your gestures, practice – but don’t wait until the day of your speech Work on enhanc- ing your g esturing abilities in front of friends, family members, and co-workers. Relax your inhibitions, gesture when you feel like it, and let yourself respond naturally to what you think, feel, and say. Through awareness and practice, you can make appropriate gesturing a part of your habitual behavior. BODY MOVEMENT Body movement – changing your position or location during a speech – is the broadest, most highly visible kind of physical action you, as a speaker, can perform. Because of this, it can be either a tremendous asset or a tremendous liability to your delivery system. When you move your entire body in a controlled, purposeful manner during a speech, you can benefit in three ways. To begin with, body movement can support and reinforce what you say. And, of course, motion will almost always attract an audience’s attention. Finally, using body movement is the fastest, most effective means of burning up nervous energy and relieving physical tension . All of these characteristics, however, also have the potential to work against you. One rule for making body movement your ally and not your enemy is this: Never move without a reason. The eye is inevitably attracted to a m oving object, so any whole body movement you make during a speech invites attention. Moving for a reason in league with your verbal message stimulates the alertness and attentiveness of your audience while simultaneously enhancing what you say. Watching a stationary object is tedious, so you don’t want to glue yourself to one spot while you speak. On the other hand, your body movement should be governed by moderation. Too much body movement – even the right kind – can become distracting to an audience. Ideally, you should seek a middle ground that consists of enough movement to keep your listeners’ attention, yet not enough to divert attention away from what you’re saying. Just as purposeful movements beckon for attention, so do random movements. The body will do almost anything to rid itself of tension. Inexperienced speakers commonly perform such body movements as rock- ing, swaying, and pacing without being aware of what they’re doing. If public speaking makes you nervous and tense, try to incorporate enough purposeful body movement into your speeches so your body won’t unconsciously indulge in distracting mannerisms. Another valid reason for body movement is to enhance understanding of your message. The means s uggested by most types of body movement are less precise than those aroused by individual gestures, but body movement can still be an effective visual complement to your spoken word. Stepping forward during a speech suggests you are arriving at an important point. A step or two back- ward indicates you’ve concluded an idea and are willing to let the audience relax for a moment and digest what you’ve just said. A lateral movement implies a transition – that you’re leaving one thought and taking up another. In some instances, you can use body movement to illustrate or dramatize a specific point. For example, if you’re describing a physical action – such as throwing a ball, or a runner straining to break the tape and win a close race – you can help your listene rs clearly visualize what you’re saying by acting out your description. The final reason for body movement is perhaps the simplest: Getting from one place to another. In almost every speaking situation, you must walk to and from the point where you deliver your speech. And if you GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS 11Learn to Look for Body Language ometimes we learn best by watching others and pick- incorporate visual aids into a presentation, you S ing up our cues from them. If you are unsure about will be moving about as you use them. The key what types of gestures, expressions, and other body to e ffective movement lies in m aking those movements you would like to incorporate into your own movements easy, natural, and smooth. speaking style, observing the techniques of others might When changing your speaking position be a good first step. For instance: during a speech, always lead with the foot nearest your destination. If you’re going to step Become a people watcher. The next time you are at a to your left, lead with your left foot. Never cross shopping mall, amusement park or other well-populated area, take some time to observe others. Not only is human one foot over the other when you begin a behavior fascinating, but watching how others act and movement. react can be invaluable for a speaker studying visual behaviors. FACIAL EXPRESSIONS Watch television. Here’s the catch: the sound must be An impassive expression may be an asset to turned down Vintage shows such as “I Love Lucy” are a good poker player, but to a speaker it is a especially instructive when watching body signals. But b arrier to effective communication. even the most straightforward news broadcaster commu- People watch a speaker’s face during a pre- nicates nonverbally; contrast the subtleties of this type of sentation. Politeness, of course, is one reason communication with the more exaggerated style displayed for this, but equally important is the need to in broad physical comedy. obtain visual data that will make the speaker’s message more meaningful. Study photographs. Ever wonder why the saying, Facial expression is often the key determi- “A picture is worth a thousand words,” continues to be nant of the meaning behind a message. Here’s popular? Once you’ve studied old family photographs, the an example. If a friend were to smile warmly reason will be self-evident. Although social conventions at you and say, “You’re crazy,” would you feel of the time may have something to do with the way the people were posed, a great deal can be inferred from the insulted? Probably not; in fact, you might even proximity of the subjects, how – or if – they are physically take it as a sign of endearment. But what if this connected, and the nature of their facial expressions. statement were accompanied by a contemptu- ous sneer? The verbal message would be the same, but your r eaction would no doubt be drastically different. When you speak, your face communicates your attitudes, feelings, and emotions more clearly than any other part of your body. According to behavioral psychologists, people can easily recognize – simply by observing a speaker’s facial expressions – such distinct feelings as sur prise, fear, happiness, confusion, disgust, interest, disbelief, anger, and sadness. To an audience, your face serves as a barometer for what’s inside you. Your listeners will watch your face for clues about your sincerity, your attitude toward your message and your earnestness in sharing your ideas with them. Remove expressions that don’t belong on your face. These include distracting mannerisms and uncon- scious expressions which are unconnected to your feelings, attitudes, and emotions. Both types of unwanted facial expression usually are manifestations of nervousness. Just as nervous speakers exhibit distracting gestures and body movements, they also may release excess energy and tension by unconsciously moving their facial muscles. Examples of random facial expressions include licking or biting the lips, tightening the jaw, raising the corners of the mouth and making twitching movements of any part of the face. 12 GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKSAn audience considers these expressions as indicators of nervousness and a lack of confidence, experi- ence, and preparation. Such behavior can also make an audience nervous and decrease its receptivity to the speaker’s verbal message. Once you are aware that you display distracting facial expressions, work toward controlling your appre- hensions about speaking. Thorough preparation and involve m ent in your subject matter will help you project confidence and control. The key to conveying friendliness is remembering to smile. To do so constantly is inadvisable – you might be labeled as inconsequential, and it would be inappropriate during a serious presentation. But by all means smile when it’s suitable to the situation. Show your listeners that you are pleased to have the opportunity to share your ideas with them, that you are enjoying yourself, and that you are interested in them. No rules govern the use of specific expressions. By relaxing your inhibitions and allowing yourself to respond naturally to your thoughts, attitudes, and emotions, your facial expressions will be appropriate and will project sincerity, conviction, and credibility. EYE CONTACT Each one of the categories we’ve just d iscussed – physical appearance, posture, g estures, body movements, and facial expressions – provide critical nonverbal elements for your speeches. But after your voice, your eyes are your most powerful tool for communicating. Why is Eye Contact Essential? When you speak, you involve your listeners with your eyes, making your presentation direct, personal, and conversational. One sure way to break the communication bond is to fail to look at your audience. No matter how large an audience may be, each listener wants to feel important, to sense a personal c onnection with the speaker, and to feel that the speaker is communicating directly with him or her. Public speaking, remember, is amplified conversation. Just as a member of a small, informal group feels excluded from a conversation if the speaker doesn’t meet his or her eyes, the people in your audience will feel left out if you fail to establish eye contact with them. In most cultures, the act of looking someone directly in the eyes is a symbol of sincerity. Failure to meet another p erson’s gaze when speaking implies disinterest, lack of confidence, insincerity, or chicanery. The same psychological associations are found in public speaking. In one study, speakers who established eye contact were judged more truthful, honest, credible, friendly, and skillful than those who did not. Only by looking at your listeners as individuals can you convince them that you are sincere, that you are interested in them and that you care whether or not they accept your message. When you speak, your eyes also function as a control device. Simply by looking at them, you have an influence on your listeners’ attentiveness and concentration. On the other hand, if you don’t look at them, they won’t look at you, and attentiveness to your message will suffer. In turn, the attentiveness generated by your effective eye contact can serve as a source of strength and encouragement for you. When you see that the audience is interested in your message, you will gain confidence and become more comfortable. Eye contact can also help you overcome nervousness. Fear is the most common cause of nervousness in speaking, and fear is caused by the unknown. Eye contact makes your audience a known quantity. When you look at your listeners and realize that most are interested in your message, your fear will evaporate, and your nervous tension will decrease. Not only do your eyes send vital m essages while you’re speaking, they also receive them. Effective eye contact is a feedback device that makes the speaking situation a two-way communication process. Only by looking at your listeners can you determine how they are reacting. Are you performing well? Does the GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS 13audience understand what you’re saying? Are you holding the audience’s attention? Is your message being accepted? By watching the audience’s reactions, you can make immediate adjustments to your presentation. Experienced speakers consider this visual feedback to be the biggest benefit of eye contact. Once you’ve developed the ability to gauge audience reaction and tailor your words accordingly, you will become a much more effective speaker. How to Use Your Eyes Effectively 1. Know Your Material. Being prepared – having control over your verbal message – is a prerequisite for establishing effective eye contact with your audience. You should know your speech so well that you don’t have to devote your mental energy remembering the sequence of ideas and words. Your projection must be outward to the audience – not inward toward mental turmoil. If you can speak effectively without notes, by all means do so. But if you must use an outline or some other form of written reminder, go ahead – just don’t let it be a substitute for preparation and rehearsal. You can use your eyes effectively while using notes, but this requires practice and conscious effort. Many experienced speakers are highly adept at this skill, taking advantage of such natural pauses as audience laughter or the aftermath of an important point to glance briefly at their notes. To make this technique work, you must keep your notes brief – a few simple words or symbols keyed to the sequence of your message. If you know your material and are well-prepared, these cues should be enough to keep you on course and avoid losing eye contact with your audience. 2 . Establish a Bond. When you speak, you are communicating with a group of individual people – not performing before a single unit. So making effective eye contact means more than just passing your gaze through out the room; it means focusing on individual listeners and creating p erson-to-person relationships with them. How do you do this? Begin by selecting one person and talking to him or her personally. Hold that person’s eyes long enough to establish a visual bond – perhaps five to 10 seconds, or the time required to say a sentence or share one thought. Then shift your gaze to another person. You may have noticed the speaker who wags his head from side to side, or slowly shifts his gaze from right to left like an oscillating fan. Always remember that although your eyes need to move from one person to the next, they should not follow any set pattern. With an audience the size of a typical Toastmasters club, this is relatively easy to do. But if you are addressing hundreds or thousands of people, it’s impossible. However, if you pick out one or two individuals in each section of the room and establish personal bonds with them, each listener will get the impression you’re talking to him or her directly. 3 . Monitor Visual Feedback. While you deliver a speech, your listeners are responding with their own nonverbal messages. Use your eyes to seek out this valuable feedback. By monitoring these visual messages, you can gauge the a udience’s reactions to what you say, then adjust your presentation accordingly. If individuals in the audience are not looking at you, they may not be listen ing, either. Somet imes this is because they can’t hear you. If you are not using a microphone, speak louder and see if that gets a positive reaction. Perhaps they are just bored. If so, you’ll need to regain their attention, perhaps 14 GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKSby using appropriate humor, increasing your vocal variety, or adding some purposeful g estures or body movements. Do your listeners look puzzled? If so, you may need to provide additional explanation for something you’ve said. Watch them as you do, and when their faces register understanding, move on to the next point or idea. Are your listeners frowning at you? Remember, an audience unconsciously mirrors the speaker. Maybe you’re unconsciously frowning at them. Smile – then see if their expressions change. The same holds true for audience members who are fidgeting nervously: Maybe you’ve been engaging in a distracting physical mannerism. On the other hand, if their faces indicate pleasure, interest, and close attention, don’t change a thing – you’re doing a great job. HOW TO MAKE A GOOD FIRST IMPRESSION First impressions are critical. People meeting for the first time form immediate judgments of one another that fore ver color their relationships. When you p resent a speech, you’ll be judged by the people in your audience, and the initial impression you make on them will directly affect the s uccess of your presentation. One of your objectives as a speaker should be to create a visual image that complements and enhances your verbal message. You want your listeners to like you, trust you, and want to hear what you say. As a Toastmaster, you’ve already made your first impression on your fellow club members. Remember, however, that your club is a learning workshop that prepares you for outside speeches delivered to other audiences, and in the future you may be speaking in front of business groups and in your community. To many of these audiences, you’ll be a stranger and making a good first impression will be crucial. Your Appearance Like it or not, your physical appearance strongly influences how others judge you. When you deliver a speech, your appearance conveys a powerful visual message to the audience – a message vital to your success as a communicator. You can’t change your age, height, or facial features, but you can enhance your appearance through proper attire, groomi ng, and physical conditioning. This manual cannot offer detailed i nformation on these subjects; styles and preferences vary greatly with time, location, and socioeconomic f actors. However, a few general comments apply to all speakers. A good rule of thumb for dress is to be at least as well-dressed as the best-dressed person in the audi- ence. If your listeners will be wearing suits and dresses, wear your best suit or dress – the outfit that brings you the most compliments. Make sure every item of clothing is clean, well-tailored, and well-fitting. Don’t wear jewelry that glitters or jingles when you move or gesture – it might divert attention away from your speech. For the same reason, empty your pockets of bulky objects or things such as pocket change or keys that produce audible sounds when you move. Audiences like speakers who reflect good health and physical vitality. Research has shown that an audi- ence associates a speaker’s well-being with the soundness of his or her verbal messages. So watch your diet and exercise regularly. Before You Speak Part of your first impression is made before you are introduced to begin your speech. As the audience is arriving, your preparations should be concluded – you should not have to study your speech. Instead, mingle with the audience, and project the same friendly, confident attitude that will make your speech a success. GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS 15Instructions for Evaluating Your Body’s Spoken Image When the meeting or program begins, be n page 17 is a special evaluation form to help attentive and courteous. If you are nervous, breathe Oyou identify your nonverbal strengths and weak- slowly and deeply. One speaker recommends nesses as a speaker. performing isometrics. These unobtrusive exercise Begin by selecting an experienced Toastmaster movements go unn oticed by others and are useful other than your assigned speech evaluator. Ask him or in he lping to dissipate nervous tension. her to read the following instructions and to complete The First Minute the form while you deliver a manual speech to your When you speak, especially if you are not well- Toastmasters club. After your speech, speak with the member and discuss the results, making sure you fully known to the audience, the most c rucial part of understand his/her ratings and comments. your presentation is the first minute. During those Then review the portions of Gestures: Your Body few seconds, the people in the audience will be Speaks that deal with any problem areas. Give priority making c ritical judgments about you. They will to eliminating any random, distracting mannerisms decide if you’re confident, sincere, friendly, eager to from your speech delivery. Work on all areas in which address them, and worthy of their attention. And to you received a low rating and/or recommended a large degree, they will base this decision on what improvement; if there are several, focus on one at a they see. time. You can gauge your progress by periodically After your introduction, walk purposef ully and conducting follow-up evaluations of your body’s confidently to the speaking position. Balance your s poken image. body as you assume your speaking posture. Achieve an imm ediate connection with the audience by Evaluator’s Instructions combining direct eye contact with a warm smile. ou have been asked to help a fellow Toastmaster Keep your movements and gestures to a minimum Yby evaluating the nonv erbal aspects of his/her during the first few moments of your speech – let speech delivery. The form on page 17 has five cat- the audience first get accustomed to you. egories: posture, gestures, body movements, facial expressions, and eye contact. Under each category THUMBS UP ON GESTURES are sets of opposite characteristics separated by a As speakers, we need to remember that much of five-point rating scale. our message is not just in our words, but also in During the speaker’s presentation, rate each c haracteristic from one to five – one being negative our visual presentation. For some of us, this means and five being positive – by circling the appropri- enlarging upon our gestures and facial expressive- ate number. Then offer your specific comments and ness as well as developing a stronger sense of eye recommendations for improvement in the space contact. For others, it means modulating those very provided along the right margin. same attributes. Please keep in mind as you complete this form Whatever your vocal strengths and speaking that you’re making value j udgments. Be as objective skills, your ability to visually communicate your ideas as you can. The numerical ratings you assign are not through gestures and other forms of body expres- “scores.” Their sole purpose is to help the speaker sion will enhance not just your presentation, but identify his/her nonverbal strengths and weaknesses. your overall effectiveness as a speaker. Be sure to offer positive, supportive recommenda- tions for areas in which improvement is warranted. You are also encouraged to discuss your ratings with the speaker when you return the evaluation form. 16 GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKSEVALUATING YOUR BODY’S SPOKEN IMAGE Comments / Category Rating Category Recommended Action POSTURE POSTURE Nervous/uneasy 1 2 3 4 5 Poised Uncertain 1 2 3 4 5 Confident Uncomfortable 1 2 3 4 5 Comfortable Slouching 1 2 3 4 5 Erect Stiff 1 2 3 4 5 Relaxed GESTURES GESTURES Artificial/wooden 1 2 3 4 5 Natural/spontaneous Random 1 2 3 4 5 Meaningful Passive 1 2 3 4 5 Lively Furtive 1 2 3 4 5 Expansive Vague 1 2 3 4 5 Precise Detracted from 1 2 3 4 5 Enhanced verbal verbal message message BODY MOVEMENTS BODY MOVEMENTS Lifeless/dull 1 2 3 4 5 Fluid/animated Awkward 1 2 3 4 5 Graceful Random 1 2 3 4 5 Purposeful Drew attention away 1 2 3 4 5 Enhanced attentiveness from speech to speech FACIAL EXPRESSIONS FACIAL EXPRESSIONS Deadpan 1 2 3 4 5 Animated Unfriendly 1 2 3 4 5 Friendly Artificial 1 2 3 4 5 Natural/genuine Incongruent 1 2 3 4 5 Appropriate to speech content EYE CONTACT EYE CONTACT Forced/artificial 1 2 3 4 5 Natural/smooth Followed set pattern 1 2 3 4 5 No set pattern Did not establish 1 2 3 4 5 Established bonds visual bonds with listeners GESTURES: YOUR BODY SPEAKS 1718 GESTURES: YOUR BODY

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