How to improve kindergarten writing

how to improve kindergarten writing and how to make kindergarten writing
AnnyPearson Profile Pic
AnnyPearson,Qatar,Researcher
Published Date:04-07-2017
Your Website URL(Optional)
Comment
Student Writing Samples For More inForMation Visit ttMs.org Collected by Steve Peha “FULL” Version5 Kindergarten Writing Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org6 Kindergarten Personal Essay I am at the lake shlane pool lrnen how to swim. With my mom + dad sister and grandma grandpa uncale + ante. I lrnde how to swim with a buch of footey stuff but now I can swim with only a swimyn tobe. You have to ceep your chin under wader and not get to panicy. I am at the Lake Chelan pool learning how to swim with my mom and dad, sister and grandma, grandpa, uncle, and auntie. I learned how to swim with a bunch of floaty stuff but now I can swim with only a swimming tube. You have to keep your chin under water and not get too panicky. I went kmp and we at lch out st. I got to driv the motr hom wn I wnt kameg and we stop and got sm chs brgers and sam org pop. And we got bk on the ro. Then we went to bed. Then I wot up and I wat a wroud then I went insid and then wan I was in the motrhm I had lnch. I went camping and we ate lunch outside. I got to drive the motorhome when I went camp- ing and we stopped and got some cheeseburgers and some orange pop and we got back on the road. Then we went to bed. Then I woke up and I walked around. Then I went inside and then when I was in the motorhome I had lunch. I em playing basketball. I love to play basketball. I just shoot. I like to play ugest my bruthr. Sum times I win. Sum times he plays ese. My bruthr tot me to play basketball he told me that wen you stop grebling you cant start to grebling again. I am playing basketball. I love to play basketball. I just shoot. I like to play against my brother. Sometimes I win. Sometimes he plays easy. My brother taught me to play basket- ball. He told me that when you stop dribbling you can’t start dribbling again. Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org7 Kindergarten Fiction The Greyt ship The Greyt ship The Greyt ship The Greyt ship The Greyt ship Wans Ther Was a ship. it Wit forthr Then iney ship in The wrald one day Ther Was a ship reys. But The ship onr got up leyt in The day And The ship reys strdid rlle in The day so He Got a alorm clock. The necs day Was The ship reys and He got up rlle The nexcs day The ship reys be gan And He wan The ship reys and He wan a goldin cap and He ollso Be cam a Greyt Fishr min. That niyt he jrempt That he was The Best Fishr min in The wralld. He Jrempt He cot a shorck and it solowed Him But The necst day He cot all The Fshe He wntid and He livd oll His layf The End The Great Ship The Great Ship The Great Ship The Great Ship The Great Ship Once there was a ship. It went farther than any ship in the world. One day there was a ship race. But the ship owner got up late in the day and the ship race started early in the day so he got an alarm clock. The next day was the ship race and he got up early. The next day the ship race began and he won the ship race and he won a golden cap and he also became a great fisherman. That night he dreamt that he was the best fisherman in the world. He dreamt he caught a shark and it swallowed him but the next day he caught all the fish he wanted and he lived all his life. The End Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org8 First Grade Writing Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org9 First Grade Writing Dear parents, If you did not here about the fire here is all I know. Theare waer 300 familys with no homes beacuse of the fire. You could see the fire from Seattle. They couldn’t put out the fire because they hade no sprinkalers. I am mad because fires can kill pepol. Next time buy some sprinkalers. Sincerle, Albert I got a shot in my hip. It hurt. I was limping. Because I could not straighten my leg. I got a shot because I had strep throt. It hurt to swlo. Strep is going around. My doctor said she had to have 15 kids get a shot. You should drink lots of fluids. So you won’t get sick. If you cannot swllo and your throt is puffy, than you have strep. You should get lots of rest. And get a shot. Because the shot will make you better faster then the medicine. My Dad T My Dad Told Me T old Me To Clean My Room o Clean My Room My Dad T My Dad T My Dad Told Me T old Me T old Me To Clean My Room o Clean My Room o Clean My Room My dad told me to clean my room. The next day I came home from school. It was a mess. My mom told my brother to clean the room. I had to make my bed. That’s all. I got to have as much fun as I wanted. And I hate half a bag of Cheez its and watched Zoom my favorite show. It took my brother 15 minutes. Hey I got E-mail from the President Hey I got E-mail from the President Hey I got E-mail from the President Hey I got E-mail from the President Hey I got E-mail from the President I got E-mail from the president on Aug. 29 1997. The time was 2:30 P.M. I told him I see too much violent stuff on T.V. He said that he would talk to the T.V. company. You can E-mail the president to. The website is www.whitehouse.gov Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org10 First Grade Writing Halloween Halloween Halloween Halloween Halloween I went to a Halloween party. My friend Tianalexa invited me. I made my own cookie. When they had a piñata I broke her head off. We Read some Books. At first we ate food. We decorated pump- kins. The party was a Black and orange party. Casa Bonita Casa Bonita Casa Bonita Casa Bonita Casa Bonita I’m in Casa Bonita. Ther are cliff Divers. The divers dive backwards. I got wet Wen The divers dived. The Divers thing is kind of like a show. I ate french fries and Honey. We ate in a cave. Ther are places That are scary It is fun I went this year. Ther are coins That you put in a game and you play it. I did it when we wer leaving. we wint ther two times. I Seen a accident I Seen a accident I Seen a accident I Seen a accident I Seen a accident This happened to this guy. He was going to sleep and he crashed in to the light Pole. And the fire truck and cop cars and cop truck came to my moms work. Me and Mom saw the accident. Flat tire and gasoline fell off. and I saw the wires and the wires were shock. Wow what an accident Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org12 Second Grade Writing On Christmas vacation I played with my German Shepard Brandy. I sprade water at her. I wres- tled her and I played soccer with her. We set down together, we telled jokes to each other, we played and played intell I had to go into the house and eat lunch. When I was done eating I went back outside and I read her a book called Flubber. I played tag with her and I taged her 10 times and she taged me with her tail 11 times so she beat me. Then me and her said all of the 12 months 5 times. Then we sang a song then we said the 7 contenents 10 times. We pretended to be a car but I was a car and she was just a regyler dog. BOOM The trunk slamed. Bang The car door slamed as we got out of the van. Buses lined up on the side-walk. The screches of the buses got annoying. Screch Screch We walked and walked until we found a place to sit for the parade. I saw a Grease van and someone threw me a dafudle. The dafudle petals were soft, and it smeled pretty. A Titanic floot sailed by. All schools had cheers. One school’s band was star-wars. A dummy was shot out of a cannon. It made me jump We ate snacks at the parade, like sandwiches and juice and carouts. They were good. The parade was two-hours. We sat on a blanket. Things blew every where when the float went by whew-clunk. Finally the parade was done. We put the blanket in the trunk. BOOM It slamed agin and we drove away as I thoght how much fun I had. Back-hand-springs Back-hand-springs Back-hand-springs Back-hand-springs Back-hand-springs Wow I was doing my back-hand-spring and I landed it Floor exercize is my favorite event to gymnastics because of all the tumbling. The tumbling makes you get very excited Gymnastics can also be a nerve-wracking sport because of having to compete. When your in your tank top leotard for practice the sun feels great I was just about to do another back-hand-spring when I stopped myself. I was getting too excited Finally I did one As you can see I LOVE gynmastics Swimming Swimming Swimming Swimming Swimming It seems like we never go swimming at Fife pool There is a tun of fun things to do at the pool Like a basketball hoop and two big slides. When we went there, the carpets that we found were 8 feet long My Brother Ashton and I had a birthday party at the Fife pool We used up all the car- pets as a big long train My Dad pulled the first big carpet in the water. Then the hole birthday party got the rest of the carpet. We hung onto the carpet in frunt of us By then we had a big train of carpets. I was in the frunt car wear my Dad was going CRAZY. I felt like I was going to fall off the carpet But was I going to fall off? Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org13 Second Grade Writing The Mariners Game The Mariners Game The Mariners Game The Mariners Game The Mariners Game On Saturday, May 23 1998, I went to a Mariners game. It was the Seattle Mariners vs. the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. The score was Mariners 3 Devils Rays 7. The Devil Rays hurt us bad. I got dis- gusted because we lost. The best part was when I got my giraffe beanie baby signed by Alex Roderiegez. The baddest part was when the Devil Rays got ahead. At the beginning my mom blurted out “Hi Alex”. He grinned, looked up and said “Hi”. For the rest of the game, my mom kept her eyes on Alex Roderiegez. At the Kingdome, I ate some Twix candy bars. This woman, be- hind us, named Dana, was crazy about Dan Wilson. She liked him so much she says “he’s a beautiful thing. DAN WILSON.” Dana screamed, “go Danny.” But she didn’t mean me. The T The T The T The T The Titanic itanic itanic itanic itanic It is April 10th 1912. Two years before my great grandma was born. The Titanic is going to travel all the way from England to America. Newspapers call the Titanic “The Wonder Ship”. The Ti- tanic had restaurants, a post office, even a gym with a toy camel ride. The Titanic has another nickname, The rich man’s specail. The Titanic has lied on the bottom of the Atlantic ocean for 86 years. This guy name Robert Ballard found the Titanic. It was pretty close to it’s desttonation when it sank. It was sad because only 1,100 people survived. The people who survived got on a ship called the Carpitha. Drug Bust Drug Bust Drug Bust Drug Bust Drug Bust By where me and Danielle live, they had a drug bust. Drug Busts are when police come and search drug dealers houses. It is very scary when they have a drug bust because you could get stolen by a drug dealer and never come back. So lock your doors when they have a drug bust around where you live. It was closer to Danielle’s house. It was kind of close to David’s house. It was really close to Kasey Bell’s and Katie Bell’s and Kelsey Bell’s house because they live less than ten yards away. It was boring because you had to stay inside. You couldn’t take one baby step outside. Remember, if there is a drug bust by your house lock your doors Ashes filled the air when I was around the camp fire. Crackle, crackle, it went. Ashes flew up in to the air and once they got too high and it got too cold. And they disappeared. At first they were red burning hot. I roasded hot dogs and marshmelos and I like mine burnt because it gives it more taste some time. I like to peel the burnt stuff off of the marshmelos because there is melty stuff in side of it. I make s’mores out of it because it is sguishier so it is easier to sguish it. It tastes bet- ter. When you put water on the fire it goes sizl sizl and it sparks. Oh Yeah Here is some thing re- ally funny. My hair still smells like smoke. I love campfires. Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org14 Trying Dialog and “Chapters” Disneyland Disneyland Disneyland Disneyland Disneyland Chapter 1 “Yeah We’re going to Disney Land tomorrow Yeah” I said. “Yep” said Mom “5 A.M.” “5 A.M.”? I said “No way mom 5 am is too early” “No it isn’t” said Mom “Any ways I bought some- thing for you so you won’t be bored on the airplane.” Then I said “What is it? Tell me.” “Al- right” said mom “I’ll tell you. Its called Word Games” Then I said “I always wanted it.” “Why?” said Mom. “Because it looked like fun.” I said. Chapter 2 The Boring airplane On the airplane, I was bord. Then I remembered about my toy that my mom got me. But when I tried it, it was really noisy. That’s why I stopped. Chapter 3 Arriving “Finaly, we’re there” I said. Then we got our stuff. Then we walked and walked untill we got to our hotel. Then we got everything organized and then we went to Disney Land. And guess what? I’m not going to tell you what kinds of rides I rode. Ha ha ha. Well all right, I’ll tell you. I went on the Snow Monster, Splash Mountain and different kinds of rides but I can’t remember the names. And I’m so lucky because when I got off Splash Mountain they let me go on it again. And we did the same stuff the next day, and then the next. But the last day we went in the honted house. Inside it the picters turned into nice ones and scary ones. Then there is a ride in it and when you go on it there is a mirror and one person turns into a skeleton in it and I turned in to the skeleton in the mirror. The we got out and went to our hotel room and packed our stuff and went on the airplane again. This was really exsiting to me. In fact, it was the best days of my life. And I’ll always rember it. The End. Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org15 Third Grade Writing Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org16 Third Grade Writing How My Situation T How My Situation T How My Situation T How My Situation T How My Situation Turned Out urned Out urned Out urned Out urned Out I got this assignment to do. I had to write about an event that I regreted. But I didn’t do it. I didn’t tell my parents about it. Meanwhile, Ms. Stromberg asked me every day about this assignment. I didn’t do this assignment because I couldn’t think of anything to write about. I didn’t ask my mom for help, because I thought she would get mad at me. When Ms. Stromberg asked me about my work, I just rolled my eyes. I hoped it would go away. However, what did happen, was Ms. Stromberg sent home a note which I didn’t give to my parents. Finally, Ms. Stromberg talked to my mom about it. When my mom heard about this, she got mad and hurt. She was mad because I didn’t do my work, and hurt because I thought she would get mad at me if I asked for help. I had to do this work until my parents were satisfied. I didn’t get any books all weekend and no TV all Friday. I got very mad. I got so mad, I didn’t think I’d ever read again. I feel totally dumb. I should have gone to my parents for help. It was all my fault. I learned that I shouldn’t lie because it gets me into worse trouble. In the future I’m not going to lie. If I have a problem, I’m going to tell someone about it, and ask for help. Ashes All Over Ashes All Over Ashes All Over Ashes All Over Ashes All Over The day after Thanksgiving my family had a reunion for my grandmother on a boat because she died of cancer about a month ago. We were all sitting in a circle, reading letters about her and saying memries. Then from oldest to youngest, we went outside, and threw a rose and a cup of grandmother’s ashes out into the water. I asked if I could go alone so I could have a speshle time with grandmother. When it was my turn I went outside, said a few words and threw the rose. Then I picked up the cup and filled it with ashes. But I threw the ashes a little crooket and they fell on the bumpers, and because the wind was very hard the ashes blew back all over me and the boat. Everyone inside was laughing really hard, I was even laughing myself I thought it was be- cause of what happened. But then my mom told me that she did the same thing to my grandfa- ther 4 years ago. She said that she had twisted her hand a little, and it all flew back all over her and my aunt Shelly. That made me laugh even harder, and my mom said that grandma Jin al- ways liked a good laugh I think everyone got a good laugh. A little bit later I got to have the extra roses to throw outside and say what I wanted to say. I had a wonderful time that day. Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org17 Third Grade Writing Surprise Snowstorm Surprise Snowstorm Surprise Snowstorm Surprise Snowstorm Surprise Snowstorm It was a snowy day in January. It was a Surprise Snowstorm with about 6 inches of snow. Grandma and grandpa came over from Ellensburg. Mom and grandma went to a baby shower and my sister Julia had our friend Lil over. Our grandpa wanted to see my dad’s jobsite and we had to go over Whitney Bridge hill to get there. The roads were very icey so when we got to the top of the hill, I felt a big lurch and dad yelled “hold on” But it was to late. We slid into the ditch. Two other cars slid to the side of the road. Grandpa’s truck did too, a few yards ahead of us. Dad got out of our truck to go help put chains on grandpa’s tires. But when he got in, the chains fell off and the truck skreeched and slid to the bottom of the hill. Dad’s trucks tire had popped off, so dad, Dyllan (my other sister) Lil, Julia and I jumped down from it toward grandpa at the bottom of the hill. I sat in the sled with Dyllan to calm her, dad pulled us and Julia and Lil carried grandpa’s chains. We started down the hill and a big truck passed by. When we started walking again, I slid on my knees in between some abandoned cars by the road. I felt the cars moving and one hit my head. I could not do anything but crawl through the tires to the ditch on the other side. Quickly, a man pulled me out. I learned that the big truck had bumped into the cars causing them to move. Everyone was okay. Julia and Lil had been in front of the cars. Grandpa gave anyone who wanted one a ride and dropped them off where they wanted to go. Then we went home. That is a story I will never forget Recorders Recorders Recorders Recorders Recorders Screech, screech, screech The first time we tried to play the recorders it sounded like a lion running his claws down a chalkboard. In other words we made a TERRIBLE noise See, a recorder is an instrument with a very high pitch. If you don’t blow in it correctly, it does sound pretty bad. After Mrs. Romland told us there is a special place for our tongue to be, we understood why we sounded so bad. She said the place was right behind your upper front teeth, and then she said once your tongue is there, put the recorder up to your mouth and try to say “too, too, too, too”. It’s called tonguing. Then we almost got the right sound. A recorder looks like a short skinny tube with one hole on the bottom, and 7 holes on the top. There are a few different types of recorders. The one we are playing is called the soprano, it is the smallest with the highest sound. Another is the alto, it is bigger with a lower sound. Next comes the tenor, it is bigger yet, with an even lower sound. Last but not least is the bass, it is the biggest of them all and the lowest sounding too. The recorder originally came from Europe. It has been an instrument for over 100 years. If you think it is related to the flute, it’s not. Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org18 A Good 3rd Grade Book Review “Ramona Quimby “Ramona Quimby “Ramona Quimby “Ramona Quimby “Ramona Quimby, Age 8” by Beverly Cleary , Age 8” by Beverly Cleary , Age 8” by Beverly Cleary , Age 8” by Beverly Cleary , Age 8” by Beverly Cleary Touch of the flu Egg in her hair? Poor Ramona “Ramona Quimby, Age 8” is a nine chapter, one hundred and ninety page book about an eight year old girl in third grade. She started school with a surprise gift from her dad, only to have it stolen by a boy she called “Yard Ape”. One day at lunch she tried to be cool and show off for her friends by cracking an egg on her head and found herself in a big mess. When flu season hit she learned how awful it felt to throw up in class. She and her sister learn about using good manners at the dinner table. As time goes on Ramona and her family solve their problems, and learn to be more caring for each other. They also learn to be more considerate for each other when time alone is needed. My favorite part was during a scene where Ramona’s class is at lunch, “She took a firm hold on her egg, waited until everyone at her table was watching, and whack—she found herself with a hand full of crumbled shell and something cool and slimy running down her face.” (“Ramona Quimby, Age 8”, Bevery Cleary, p. 60) I thought that was funny because she wanted to be cool like the rest of her class, by breaking a hard boiled egg on her head. But guess what, her mother was in such a hurry she gave Ramo- na a raw egg Whoops I think the one thing the author wants me to know is that when my family may be having problems I can be of help by obeying them and not fussing, disturbing, and/or annoying them. I liked this book because the author chose strong, powerful, descriptive words that made gross, imaginative pictures in my mind. Like in her lunch scene at school, “something cool and slimy running down her face”, and at her dinner scene at home, “One edge of her meat was covered with tiny bumps.” “Ramona Quimby, Age 8” is one of the best Beverly Cleary books I’ve ever read because it pulled me in better than any other book in her series. (I have read 6 of her books.) It made pic- tures in my mind (Word Choice) and sounded like a real person wrote it (Voice). It also sounded good as I read it, flowed easily from sentence to sentence (Sentence Fluency), and sounded like a real 8 year old girl’s life. These traits made me want to keep on reading until the end of the book. I recommend this book to good readers who enjoy good long lasting chapters. Max. 25 pages. Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org19 Strong Voice Chores Chores Chores Chores Chores Chores Chores Chores Chores are boring Scrubbing toilets, cleaning sinks, and washing bathtubs take up a lot of my time and are not fun at all. Toilets When you’re scrubbing toilets make sure they are not stinky. I’ve scrubbed one before and I was lucky it didn’t stink. I think toilets are one of the hardest things to scrub in the bath- room because it is hard to get up around the rim. Sinks are one of the easiest things to clean in the bathroom because they have no rims and they are small. I have cleaned one before and it was pretty easy. Bathtubs, ever washed one? They are big, they are deep, and it is hard to get up around the sides. The bathtub is the hardest, I think, to wash in the bathroom. All chores are boring, especially making my bed. Cleaning my room is OK because I have to organize, and I like organizing. Dusting is the worst: dust, set down, pick up, dust, set down. There are so many things to dust, and it’s no fun. Chores aren’t the worst but they’re definitely not the best Attack of My Older Brother Attack of My Older Brother Attack of My Older Brother Attack of My Older Brother Attack of My Older Brother I just hate it. I mean really, really, really positively hate, being taken by surprise. Just think- ing about it makes me shiver. Boy, I’ve been taken by surprise lots of times, lots of ways, by many different people. In my opinion, I think the worst surprise I have been through must have been when I got home from school and expected to see my older brother waiting for me or watching television. But no, my brother wasn’t home (at least it seemed like it to me) so, I yelled for my dad outside. No dad. Poor me scared without a brother or father (yeah right) and right when I was walking to my brother’s room, boom Ahhhh I screamed, my brother jumps out of the closet in the hall. I was really frightened. I’ll never forget that, it will scar me for life. After that I figured out my dad was outside somewhere where he could not hear me. I have also been taken by surprise many other times but none of them as worse as “The at- tack of my older brother.” It is so annoying when they do it more than once. Example: Laura jumps out of the kitchen and scares Trish and then she leaves. Seconds later Trish passes by the kitchen again, Laura screams “Raahh,” Trish doesn’t scream but is now annoyed. Getting taken by surprise happens most unexpected. I think I will get scared more if you don’t make it so fancy, make it original. Example for original: She jumps out screaming “Raahh,” is original. Example for fancy: He jumps out screaming, “Ooga, Booga,” along with streamers, confetti etc. That is way too fancy. Me, Trisha Arnold, will give you some advice that I learned: don’t take it seriously. It might be scary but, go be free, live along with your life, that’s the best cure. Even for “The attack of my older brother.” Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org20 Third Grade Writing How to Eat Fried W How to Eat Fried W How to Eat Fried W How to Eat Fried W How to Eat Fried Worms orms orms orms orms Eyuuuuuuuuu Nasty This book was very gross at the beginning because the bullies made a bet with Tom. The bet was for Tom to eat fifteen worms for 50 dollars. What brought me in to the story was the lead which was “Hey Tom where were you last night?” As I got further into the story it kind of made me want to try a worm ‘cause in the fifth and sixth chapter it says, “The worms were okay”. During the eighth and ninth chapter Tom got a very bad stomach ache from all those worms. Tom didn’t only lose 50 dollars he lost energy from those worms because when he got the stomach ache he couldn’t do anything. How he lost is he missed his worm. When Tom’s mom learned about the bet she punished him by sending him to his room till dinner. The author included lots of detail. It made really wonderful pictures in my mind from the long and descriptive words that the author used. I think the author wrote this book to tell us not to bet. It is a bad thing to bet because it can hurt your body. I recommend this book for readers who like adventures and interesting stories. T T T T Teeth Don’ eeth Don’ eeth Don’ eeth Don’ eeth Don’t Make Good Brakes t Make Good Brakes t Make Good Brakes t Make Good Brakes t Make Good Brakes Flying through the air on my bike was a very frightening moment. It was a Wednesday and my family was celebrating my dads birthday. My friend, my cousin Laura, and I decided to go bike riding. I started going faster and faster not knowing what was going to happen. And I flew off my bike. What made me fall off? Maybe my bike tire hit a rock Then I noticed I chipped three teeth. Ahhhh As we were walking back I was bleeding a lot and aching all over. Finally we got home. I got ice on my lip which was swollen. My cousin Jessica called the dentist and we went there right away. Nobody was at the dentists office except for me. He numbed my lip so I could have a good night sleep. After we were done at the dentist we went to the store to get straws for me to sip juice. My dad and I stayed in the car while my mom and my brother went inside. After we went to the store we went home and I went to sleep. The next two days I didn’t go to school. From now on I will be more cautious when I ride my bike. Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org21 “Double” Book Review King Midas and the Golden T King Midas and the Golden T King Midas and the Golden T King Midas and the Golden T King Midas and the Golden Touch ouch ouch ouch ouch by Judy Rosenbaum The Chocolate T The Chocolate T The Chocolate T The Chocolate T The Chocolate Touch ouch ouch ouch ouch by Patrick Skene Catling These two books are about some greedy people. One is a boy named John Midas, the other is a man named King Midas. John LOVES chocolate. I mean absolutely LOVES chocolate. And the king was filthy rich with gold. Well, one day they each got a taste of there own medicine, because they were so greedy. “One day John was going to a friends house, but then for a change he went a different way. Only two blocks along the unfamiliar street, John came to a small corner candy store.” (The Chocolate Touch, by Patrick Skene Catling, page 11-12) And that’s where his chocolate touch began. Whatever he put into his mouth it turned to chocolate. And the king? “Well one day Midas was sitting in his treasure room dreaming about his gold. In his dream he saw a shadow fall across the piles of valuable gold coins, he looked up and saw a stranger standing near him.” (King Midas and the Golden Touch, by Judy Rosenbaum, page 2) And that’s where his golden touch began. Whatever he touched with his hands, it turned to gold. They liked their touch… for a while. Then one day a terrible thing happened Now you read the rest of the book to find out what the terrible thing was. And when you are done reading this book, you will find out it teaches you a lesson about greediness. By the way, there are some parts you should know about. Like the time John turned his trum- pet to chocolate, and the time King Midas turned his food to gold. Both of these books pulled me in with a good lead The Chocolate Touch started with “Most of the time John Midas was a very nice boy. Every now and then, of course, he broke a rule.” King Midas and the Golden Touch started out with “Once upon a time there was a very rich King named Midas. He lived in a fine castle with his daughter Marygold.” I wanted to read the whole book in one day because it got really exciting and interesting with the fun and powerful words the author used. The Chocolate Touch had a little more detail and action than The Golden Touch because the book was longer by 80 pages. Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org22 Fourth Grade Writing Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org23 Fourth Grade Writers Middle of the Night Surprise Middle of the Night Surprise Middle of the Night Surprise Middle of the Night Surprise Middle of the Night Surprise I woke up swiftly. My senses were blurred, except for my hearing. All I could hear was the sound of footsteps stepping on the creaky board in the hallway. I waited for the footsteps to go into the living room. I walked as lightly as I possibly could but no matter how hard I tried, I still made noise. I slipped past my parents room and entered the living room very cautious. I searched the room and found nothing. I went into the kitchen to find three small wrapped presents on the table. I sleekly ran back into my brothers’ room. I brought them into the kitchen. We opened the present and found three sheets of paper. One piece had little lines with symbols under them. The other two made up the key. I pieced together: on January 8th we are going to. The last I spelled out loud. “D” “I” “S” “N” “E” “Y” “L” “A” “N” “D” I got up to see my mom. I jumped for joy and was thrilled out of my mind. When I Grow Up When I Grow Up When I Grow Up When I Grow Up When I Grow Up …I tried to run, but I couldn’t. The monster seemed like it was growing by the minute And then, the most horrible thing was about to happen… I screamed and sat bolt upright up in bed. I gasped swallowing huge amounts of air. I’d just had the most horrible nightmare ever. I’d nev- er been so scared in my life Still gasping, I called “Mom” My mom came sleepily into my bedroom and sat on the edge of my bed. “What is it sweetie?” she asked, her voice full of concern. Tears swelled up in my eyes as I remembered the ghostly monster from my dream. “I… I had a nightmare.” I finally man- aged to say. “Poor thing,” my Mom said sympathetically as she gave me a hug. “But don’t wor- ry,” she said, “you will stop having them when you grow up.” I nodded my head in agreement. Although inside I secretly felt that I wouldn’t. After my Mom left, I lay on my pillows and started to think. People—mostly grownups—were always telling me that things would happen, or I would like something better when I was “grown up.” Apparently they thought being grown up meant liking everything and knowing everything. Well I most certainly did not Personally I thought growing up meant having responsibility, and trying to make good choices, etc. I wondered if my life would be different as a grown-up. I mean I knew I would be older, and more mature, but would I be prettier? fatter? skinnier? would I choose to get married? or get a job? Then I realized something. I was nine years of age. Right now none of that stuff mattered. I didn’t need a husband because I had older siblings I didn’t need a job because my Mom and dad provided for me. The only job I had right now was to be a kid. And that was just what I was going to do. Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org24 Fourth Grade Writing Day of Destiny Day of Destiny Day of Destiny Day of Destiny Day of Destiny It was a humid day in July, the Key Bank sign said that it was 85 degrees outside. That day my mom drove me to The Smithfield Theater. I had an important job to do. The job was more of a personal goal. It was to make people laugh. The catch was that if I was to stand up in front of a theater of people and tell a couple of jokes then I would get to see the movie “Mission Impossible” free. When I got to the theater I was sweating like a pig. The librarian that signed me up was dressed in a clown suit. She said, “Are we ready to make people laugh?” I feebly answered, “Yes...” When I got inside the theater a guy was already telling some lame jokes. Then, when every- one was seated he called my name, “C’mon down Zachary Williams” As I reached the first step to the stage I had about a hundred butterflies in my stomach. By the third step they multiplied. But then, very abruptly, when I reached for the microphone all of the butterflies disappeared. When I was done telling the jokes I didn’t turn red or anything, I just smiled. I noticed the size of the crowd and unexpectedly I knew what I was going to be when I grew up, I knew why God had put me on this green earth, it was because I was going to be- come… a comedian. January 20, 1993 Dear Mr. President, Today was probably one of the most important days of your life. The speech you gave was very, very hopeful, sincere, and thoughtful. There are two main issues that I think you should focus on. First, I would like you to work on getting more money to go into schools. I would like to see every school in Washington, and every other state, with enough learning space, tools, and good teachers. I would also like to see the government working for the people instead of the people being servants of the government. The people should not be out there, working their heads off, just so that they can give the government the little amount of hard-earned money they have. The gov- ernment should be by the people and for the people, instead of by the people and for the politi- cians. You must have a very hard job and I know you won’t be able to do everything by yourself. I hope that you will have plenty of support. I know that you will do your best to do well as Presi- dent, be able to make good judgements, and make our country into the country that it was meant to be by our founders. My best wishes to you and your extra-hard job. Sincerely, Mindy Franklin Student sample papers are © copyrighted by their respective copyright holders and are provided here for non-commercial educational purposes only. For more information, or for additional teaching materials, please contact: Teaching That Makes Sense, Inc. • E-mail stevepehaaol.com • Web www.ttms.org