What does Narrative writing mean

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Narrative Writing UnitYear 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Narrative Writing Unit Introduction Preparation for this unit Prior to teaching this unit, it would be helpful for teachers to be familiar with the mark scheme for the 2003 Key Stage 2 writing test. Changes to assessment 2003: sample material for Key Stages 1 and 2 has been sent to all schools as a booklet and is also on the QCA website with some additional sample material www.qca.org.uk/ca/tests/2003sample. The assessment focuses in the 2003 mark scheme are drawn together under strands: sentence construction and punctuation, text structure and organisation, composition and effect. These are the elements of writing covered by the word, sentence and text level objectives in the NLS Framework for teaching. Sentence construction and punctuation • vary sentences for clarity, purpose and effect • write with technical accuracy of syntax and punctuation in phrases, clauses and sentences Text structure and organisation • organise and present whole texts effectively, sequencing and structuring information, ideas and events • construct paragraphs and use cohesion within and between paragraphs Composition and effect • write imaginative, interesting and thoughtful texts • produce texts which are appropriate to task, reader and purpose The two word-level focuses are • select appropriate and effective vocabulary • use correct spelling The vocabulary focus is assessed through all the three strands and the spelling focus is assessed through a separate spelling test. Changes to assessment 2003: guidance for teachers (KS2 English) has also been sent to all schools. In order to understand the mark scheme, this booklet suggests • comparing the 2002 sample materials with test papers from previous years • using a script of a longer writing task in the sample materials on the website, cutting up the annotated notes and matching them to the appropriate places in the script, e.g. the narrative prompt A New World would be particularly helpful as preparation for this unit • applying the strands from the mark scheme to the scripts • giving the children a sample longer task using a prompt from the website, e.g. A New World, and marking a selection of the stories with a colleague using the 2003 mark scheme. The National Literacy Strategy 3Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Narrative Writing Unit The unit In this narrative unit, the resources for analysing texts and for demonstrating writing have been annotated under the three strand headings: sentence construction and punctuation, text structure and organisation, composition and effect. The unit extends children’s understanding of effective narrative writing by analysing and writing each of the five parts of a narrative text: opening, build-up, dilemma, events and resolution/ending and supporting the children in writing their own narrative. While analysing the text and participating in demonstration lessons the children will learn how to construct sentences and paragraphs to achieve the effects needed to interest the reader. In the plenary, the teacher will have the opportunity to respond to the children’s writing with the three assessment strands in mind. During the first two weeks of the unit, two days will be spent on each element of narrative as shown: Day Teaching/learning Element of narrative 1 Read and analyse text opening 2 Apply this knowledge in demonstration and independent writing 3 Read and analyse text build-up 4 Apply this knowledge in demonstration and independent writing 5 Read and analyse text dilemma 6 Apply this knowledge in demonstration and independent writing 7 Read and analyse text events 8 Apply this knowledge in demonstration and independent writing 9 Read and analyse text resolution and ending 10 Apply this knowledge in demonstration and independent writing The third week of the unit is an opportunity for children to write some aspects of narrative such as setting and characterisation in more detail. Resources The resources for weeks 1 and 2 include lesson notes for the first two days of the unit, general material on narrative structure, texts for analysis and texts to use to demonstrate writing. All the texts are annotated to show the effective features of the texts. These are notes for the teacher to use as support during the analysis of the text with the children and as points to bring out during demonstration-writing. (There is an alternative set of materials in Year 6 Planning Exemplification 1 2001–2002 in the publications section on www.standards.dfes/literacy.) Resources for week 3 of the unit include a number of shorter texts for analysis and demonstration-writing as well as two pieces of writing by children for assessment purposes. The National Literacy Strategy 4Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Narrative Writing Unit Resource Purpose sheets 1 Lesson notes for days 1 and 2 2 Narrative framework for writing. This shows the five typical stages in narrative writing and could be enlarged as a poster. 3 Examples of types of narrative. This shows the variations within the five narrative stages. 4 Checklists for effective narrative writing. These are intended for teacher reference only. Children should extract the features of effective narrative writing from the texts they analyse and compile their own classroom checklist with the teacher. The teacher can refer to Resource sheet 4 to ensure that the children have found all the features. 5a–e OHTs of story in five parts: Mac’s short adventure 6a–e Mac’s short adventure in five parts, annotated to show the effective features of narrative writing under three strand headings: sentence construction and punctuation, text structure and organisation, composition and effect. Some words which might be difficult to spell are also identified. 7 Planning frame for Bloddon’s adventure 8a–e Story for demonstration-writing, Bloddon’s adventure, in five parts, annotated with the effective features which can be identified by the teacher as he/she is writing the story with the children. Some words which might be difficult to spell are also identified. 9a–d Children’s writing for assessment 10a–b Writing a character 11 Writing a character 12a–b Writing a character 13a–b Writing a setting 14a–e Writing an action story Word level work Word level teaching and learning is incorporated into the work on analysis of text (e.g. meaning and spelling of connectives) and into shared, guided and independent writing. However, focused spelling, like mental maths, needs concentrated daily attention so that writing words correctly with a fluent hand is automatic and children’s cognitive capacity is released to attend to the content and form of their writing. Ten minutes at the beginning of the literacy hour every day can be spent on sharpening up children’s spelling knowledge. The Booster Lessons for 2002–2003 contain a revision programme for spelling and can be downloaded from www.standards.dfes.gov.uk/literacy from January 2003. The National Literacy Strategy 5Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Narrative Writing Unit Framework objectives Weeks 1 and 2 Year 6 Term 1 Text 7. to plan quickly and effectively the plot, characters and structure of their own narrative writing; Sentence 1. to revise from Y5: • re-expressing sentences in a different order; 4. to investigate connecting words and phrases: • collect examples from reading and thesauruses; • study how points are typically connected in different kinds of text; • classify useful examples for different kinds of text – for example, by position (besides, nearby, by); sequence (firstly, secondly . . . ); logic (therefore, so, consequently); • identify connectives which have multiple purposes (e.g. on, under, besides); 5. to form complex sentences through, e.g.: • using different connecting devices; • reading back complex sentences for clarity of meaning, and adjusting as necessary; • evaluating which links work best; • exploring how meaning is affected by the sequence and structure of clauses; Word 1. to identify mis-spelt words in own writing; to keep individual lists (e.g. spelling logs); to learn to spell them; 2. to use known spellings as a basis for spelling other words with similar patterns or related meanings; 3. to use independent spelling strategies, including: • building up spelling by syllabic parts, using known prefixes, suffixes and common letter strings; • applying knowledge of spelling rules and exceptions; • building words from other known words, and from awareness of the meaning or derivations of words; • using dictionaries and IT spell-checks; • using visual skills, e.g. recognising common letter strings and checking critical features (i.e. does it look right, shape, length, etc.); 4. revise and extend work on spelling patterns for unstressed vowels in polysyllabic words from Year 5 term 3; 6. to investigate meanings and spellings of connectives: therefore, notwithstanding, furthermore, etc.; link to sentence level work on connectives; Week 3 Year 6 Term 2 Text 10. to use different genres as models to write, e.g. short extracts, sequels, additional episodes, alternative endings, using appropriate conventions, language; Sentence 13. to revise work on complex sentences: • identifying main clauses; • ways of connecting clauses; • constructing complex sentences; • appropriate use of punctuation; Word 1. to identify mis-spelt words in own writing; to keep individual lists (e.g. spelling logs); to learn to spell them; 2. to use known spellings as a basis for spelling other words with similar patterns or related meanings; 3. to use independent spelling strategies, including: • building up spelling by syllabic parts, using known prefixes, suffixes and common letter strings; • applying knowledge of spelling rules and exceptions; • building words from other known words, and from awareness of the meaning or derivations of words; • using dictionaries and IT spell-checks; • using visual skills, e.g. recognising common letter strings and checking critical features (i.e. does it look right, shape, length, etc.); The National Literacy Strategy 6Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Narrative Writing Unit The National Literacy Strategy 7 Narrative writing: unit plan for weeks 1 and 2 Week Day Shared text and sentence level Guided reading/writing Independent work Plenary 1 Shared reading: analyse and annotate two Working in pairs, analyse the Children contribute to the examples/create checklist openings of other short stories and class checklist of features of effective Opening – introducing characters extend the checklist openings 2 Shared writing – teacher demonstration Working independently, apply the Children’s work is evaluated using checklist checklist to write an opening against the checklist and the three Opening – introducing characters writing strands (see Introduction) 3 Shared reading: analyse and annotate two Working in small groups, analyse the Contribute to the class checklist 1 examples/create checklist build-up and setting of other short – build-ups Build-up – establishing setting stories and extend the checklist 4 Shared writing – teacher demonstration Working individually, apply the Work evaluated against checklist using checklist checklist to build a story Build-up – establishing setting 5 Shared reading: analyse and annotate two Working in pairs, analyse the dilemma Contribute to the class checklist examples/create checklist of other short stories and extend the – dilemma Dilemma checklist 6 Shared writing – teacher demonstration Working individually, apply the Work evaluated against checklist using checklist checklist to create a dilemma Dilemma 7 Shared reading: analyse and annotate two Working in pairs, analyse the Contribute to the class checklist examples/create checklist reaction/events of other short stories – reactions Reaction – events and extend the checklist 8 Shared writing – teacher demonstration Working individually, apply the Work evaluated against checklist 2 using checklist checklist relate the events Reaction – events 9 Shared reading: analyse and annotate two Working in small groups, analyse the Contribute to the class checklist examples/create checklist resolution and ending of other short – resolutions Resolution and ending stories and extend the checklist 10 Shared writing – teacher demonstration Working individually, apply the Work evaluated against checklist using checklist checklist to resolve/end a story Resolution and endingYear 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Narrative Writing Unit The National Literacy Strategy 8 Narrative writing: unit plan for week 3 Day Shared text and sentence level Guided Independent work Plenary 1 Shared reading Write a brief clear description of Assess a child’s writing against Read and assess short descriptions of an incident written by the incident. the key features discussed in two children (Resource sheets 9a to 9d). Discuss the effective shared session. and less effective features. Set a fresh imaginary incident to describe succinctly during independent time. 2 Shared reading and writing Think of an imaginary character In pairs, assess each other’s work Analyse and annotate character description (Resource sheets and write a description, using with reference to earlier 10a and 10b). Create web to support character creation character web as support. discussions in shared session. (Resource sheet 11). Demonstrate writing part of description (Resource sheets 12a and 12b). Discuss key features of effective character description. Choose a setting and compose Assess a child’s writing against 3 Shared reading and writing own story opening based on an the key features discussed in Analyse and annotate beginning of a setting (Resource sheets effective setting. shared session. 13a and 13b). Demonstrate writing the rest of the setting (Resource sheet 13b). Discuss key features of effective settings. Write own action opening to In pairs, assess each other’s work 4 Shared reading and writing a story. against the key features Analyse and annotate the beginning of an action story discussed in shared session. (Resource sheets 14a and 14b). Demonstrate writing the rest of the story’s opening (Resource sheet 14b). Discuss key features of effective action openings. Create an alternative middle Reflect on the week’s learning, 5 Shared reading and writing section to Jude’s story, that would summarising the different types of Remind pupils of action opening of Jude story, then quickly read fit with the opening and the writing and the key features the ending (Resource sheet 14c). Read aloud the beginning of ending. of each. the middle section of the story (Resource sheet 14d) then demonstrate writing the rest of this middle part of Jude’s adventure (Resource sheets 14d and 14e).Resource sheet 1 Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Lesson notes for days 1 and 2 Narrative Writing Unit Lesson notes for week 1, days 1 and 2 Day 1 Shared reading – analysis of opening • Tell the children that they will be writing an adventure story over the next two weeks. Briefly remind them of the five elements of a simple problem/resolution narrative – opening, build-up, dilemma, events, resolution. It is a good idea to have these words prominently displayed (Resource sheet 2). Tell them that you will be investigating examples of each element, reading as writers, and then you will show them how to write each element before they have a go themselves. • Ask the children what types of opening they know (dialogue, setting, question, warning, dramatic, etc.) and what they know about writing good openings to stories. List some of the criteria they offer in a checklist, e.g. draw the reader into the story quickly, begin to build up the main character, use an early hook to catch the reader’s interest. Explain that many openings will combine several aspects. • Put up an enlarged text of opening paragraph of a story, e.g. The Subtle Knife by Philip Pullman (Scholastic, 1997), the second book in his fantasy adventure trilogy. Discuss what it hints at, how it draws the reader in and how there are the elements of plot, character and setting interwoven in the introductory paragraph. Add to the checklist if necessary. • Repeat with the opening of Mac’s short adventure (Resource sheet 5a). Discuss this opening (see Resource sheet 6a) and then review the criteria which ‘grab the reader’ (see Resource sheet 4). • Discuss how the characters are introduced and how the author portrays character, e.g. through what they say and do, viewed through the eyes of an onlooker. Begin to create a list of criteria for effective characterisation. Independent work Give the children more examples of openings to analyse in pairs. These could be taken from guided reading books and this would provide some differentiation. Ask the children to categorise the openings and be ready to explain the strategies the writer uses to show character. Plenary • Complete the list of criteria from any new points the children have decided from the independent activity. • Ask the children to discuss with their partners the type of openings they like best and the one they would like to try. • Show the children the planning frame for the quest story you will be beginning the following day (Resource sheet 7). Explain how the basis for this sort of story is losing something, as in Mac’s adventure, or deciding to go off and discover something. In this story the dwarfs need a herb and someone has to go off into the wilds to find it. The plot aims towards an ending in which the characters in the story find what they are looking for. So our job as writers is to get the characters off on their journey, give them an interesting time and get them back again safe and sound To make it a good read, the reader needs to be able to visualise the characters and the setting as the plot develops. In this story the dwarf takes his pet with him, loses the map, is rescued and gets home with the herb. • Ask them to think about their own idea for an adventure that involves two friends going to find something and write down their ideas in a planning frame before tomorrow. The National Literacy Strategy 10Resource sheet 1 (continued) Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Lesson notes for days 1 and 2 Narrative Writing Unit Day 2 Shared writing – demonstration • Display the planning frame for the story, Bloddon’s adventure (Resource sheet 7). Tell the children that you are going to write the beginning of the story for them today and complete it over the next two weeks. • Using the notes on Resource sheet 8a, demonstrate how to write the opening by introducing the characters, establishing a setting and getting the plot moving quickly. Explain what you are doing while you are doing it – or ask the children why they think you are doing it Ask them to look at the checklist to see which techniques you are using. (The Grammar for writing video shows a Year 6 teacher doing this – time code 1:16:11.) • Tell the children that they will be writing the opening of their own story in independent time. Give them two or three minutes to show their partner, and talk about, their plans for an adventure story that involves two friends going to find something. Independent/guided work • Ask the children to choose one of the sorts of openings they thought was particularly effective and write one or two paragraphs to start the story off. They should establish the characters by referring to the checklist. They must also remember to give an idea of the setting and get the story moving as the examples showed. Ask one or two children to write theirs on overhead transparency so that it can be shared with the class in the plenary session. • Before the end of the session, allow the children to share their work with their response partners and allow time for individual checking. Plenary Discuss the opening paragraphs written on the transparencies. Ask the children to identify the features of effective writing. Identify appropriate use of connectives. It is important to deal with positive aspects of the writing before suggestions are given for possible improvement. Continuing the unit Days 3 and 4 follow the same pattern. In shared writing on day 3, analyse the next part of Mac’s short adventure (build-up). During independent time, ask the children to analyse the next part of a story they started to analyse on day 1. On day 4, demonstrate the second part (the build-up) of Bloddon’s adventure. In independent time, ask the children to continue writing the second part of their own stories. Continue in the same way through days 5/6, 7/8 and 9/10. Some sections of Bloddon’s adventure might be too long to demonstration-write in front of the children so write up the first part of the section in advance and discuss the features of this before continuing to demonstrate the rest. The National Literacy Strategy 11Resource sheet 2 Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: OHT Narrative framework Narrative Writing Unit Narrative framework for writing Opening + setting or character Build-up + character or setting Dilemma Events Resolution and ending The National Literacy Strategy 12Resource sheet 3 Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Examples of types of narrative writing Narrative Writing Unit Examples of types of narrative Quest Suspense Warning Task established – Introduces Warning not to do OPENING to find something. characters/setting; something, e.g. do Begin establishing story gets going not play by the canal. characters/setting Begin establishing characters/setting Establishes Establishes Establishes BUILD-UP setting/characters. setting/characters. setting/characters. Characters set off Characters start Characters start and overcome to do something – to do something obstacles en route all appears to be – and get tempted, going well e.g. they make their way to the canal Options: Suspense section – Do the thing they DILEMMA • can’t find it something starts have been warned • can’t get in to happen not to do, e.g. play • get trapped by the canal • get chased Struggle and Options: Struggle to save EVENTS overcome each • they run, and themselves from problem possibly get the anticipated chased consequence, e.g. • they investigate one falls in and get close Arrive back at start – Options: Succeed in getting RESOLUTION • nothing after all away, surviving, task accomplished. and ENDING • chasing/fighting off e.g. friend drags the something other one out Final comment • finding something unexpected Final comment probably from the Final comment person who gave initial warning, e.g. Mum who finds them soaking wet The National Literacy Strategy 13Resource sheet 4 Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Checklists for effective narrative writing Narrative Writing Unit Checklists for effective narrative writing 1. Opening/setting scene or introducing characters Some possible options for opening a story ‘to grab the reader’ • using dialogue, e.g. a warning given by one character to another • asking the reader a question • describing some strange behaviour of one of the characters • using a dramatic exclamation (Help) or dramatic event • introducing something intriguing Techniques for introducing characters • using an interesting name • limiting description on how the character feels, e.g. sad, lonely, angry or what they are, e.g. bossy, shy • relying on portraying character through action and dialogue • using powerful verbs to show how a character feels and behaves, e.g. muttered, ambled • giving the thoughts and reactions of other characters • revealing the characters’ own thoughts and ideas 2. Build-up/creating setting • making the characters do something • using detail based on sense impressions – what can be seen, heard, smelt, touched or tasted • basing settings on known places plus some invented detail • using real or invented names to bring places alive – to help to make the setting more real and more believable • creating atmosphere, e.g. what is hidden, what is dangerous, what looks unusual, what is out of place • using the weather, time of day and season as well as place • lulling the reader into a false sense of security that all is well 3. Dilemma • introducing a problem • using ‘empty’ words, e.g. ‘someone’ to create suspense • using short sentences to be dramatic • strengthening nouns and verbs rather than adding adjectives and adverbs • employing suspense words such as ‘suddenly’, ‘without warning’ • drawing the reader in by asking a question • occasionally breaking the sentence rule by using a fragment to emphasise a point, e.g. ‘Silence’ • varying sentence openings by sometimes starting with an adverb, e.g. ‘Carefully’; a prepositional phrase, e.g. ‘At the end of the street’; a subordinate clause, e.g. ‘Although she was tired, Vanya . . . ’ or ‘Swinging his stick in the air, he . . . ’ • delaying the revealing of the ‘monster’ by shadows, sounds, etc. • using ominous sounds, darkness or cold to build the tension The National Literacy Strategy 14Resource sheet 4 (continued) Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Checklists for effective narrative writing Narrative Writing Unit 4. Reaction/events • building on many of the techniques already used in the earlier part of the story • varying sentences structures by using longer sentence to get a rhythm going to describe the increasing tension as events unfold • using alliteration and short sentences to portray sounds within the action • using metaphor and simile to help paint the scene and describe the feelings of the characters • introducing further possible complications, using connecting words and phrases such as ‘unfortunately . . . ’ or ‘what he hadn’t noticed was . . . ’ 5. Resolution and ending Techniques for resolving the dilemma • allowing help to arrive in an unexpected form, such as ‘It was at that moment that . . . ’ • making the character(s) do something unexpected • showing that the problem/dilemma was only in the characters’ minds and not real • allowing the character some extra effort to overcome the problem • only resolving a part of the dilemma so the characters learn a lesson for the future Some possible options for closing a story • making a comment about the resolution • using dialogue – a comment from one of the characters • using a question • making a mysterious remark • telling the reader to remember or do something • showing how a character has changed • using one word or an exclamation • avoiding clichés such as ‘The end’ or ‘They all lived happily ever after’ unless it is a fabrication of a traditional story • reflecting on events and perhaps providing a moral • allowing the main character to think aloud • introducing an element of mystery, e.g. ‘Vanya would never know how lucky she was that . . . ’ • looking to the future • revisiting where the story began The National Literacy Strategy 15Resource sheet 5a Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: OHT for analysis Narrative Writing Unit Opening Mac’s Short Adventure Winston watched rain pelt down the window panes in icy cold needles. He sighed. “This is just typical School holidays and it rains” His younger sister, Hannah, didn’t answer and carried on rolling around the floor with Grandma’s dog, Mac, barking excitedly at her ankles. A moment later, a key turned in the latch, the door opened and 16-year-old Sophie, headphones glued as usual to her ears, bounded upstairs shouting as she went, “Stay at the door, Trace, right.” Mac certainly needed no second chance and was out of the lounge and into the garden before Hannah could get to her feet. “You idiot, Sophe” Winston yelled pointlessly at the retreating figure. “We’re supposed to keep him in. He doesn’t know his way around this end of town.” The National Literacy Strategy 16Resource sheet 5b Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: OHT for analysis Narrative Writing Unit Build-up Grabbing two coats, Hannah joined her brother on the step, just in time to see the black and white dog squeeze through an impossibly small gap in the hedge and start an easy amble up the road. “No time to leave a note to Mum,” Winston decided, taking charge. “Let’s get him. The last thing Grandma needs to know when she’s in hospital is that we’ve lost her dog. Blasted thing” he added under his breath. “Tell Sophe,” he ordered a surprised looking Tracey. “And tell her it’s all her fault” Splashing through puddles, the two children rushed towards Mac. That was probably the worst thing to do because he decided they had come out to play a game. Wagging his tail vigorously and sending sprays of water onto the legs of a passer-by, he raced off towards the park. “We’ll get him,” Hannah said confidently. “He’s only got little legs.” “He’s doing all right on them, though,” Winston puffed, rounding the corner to see Mac turn down yet another street. “I just wish it would stop raining. My glasses are covered. I can’t see properly.” Mac led his pursuers towards the gateway to the town park and set off at once towards the duck pond. He’d not had so much fun for years. The National Literacy Strategy 17Resource sheet 5c Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: OHT for analysis Narrative Writing Unit Dilemma Winston and Hannah were close behind but cannoned round the corner straight into a woman pushing a pram. “Watch where you’re going,” she yelled, stumbling but grabbing the handle. “Sorry,” they mumbled. Hannah got up and examined her cut knee. She looked as if she was going to cry. “I can’t see Mac any more,” Winston announced when the woman had gone on her way. “I thought we’d catch up with him by the ducks.” A few minutes of racing along the sodden paths in the park, finally convinced the children that they had lost Mac. But they could not give up yet. Grandma. Winston was keen to keep trying. Hannah wanted to report him missing to the police. They both wished their Mum was with them. While arguing about the best course of action, they left the park and made their way up the High Street. “We’re never going to find him by ourselves,” Hannah persisted. “I bet he’s frightened now, poor little thing.” “I should hope he is” Winston said, rather unkindly. “Look at the trouble he’s put us to Oh look,” he yelled. “A bus Come on Let’s go home and phone Mum.” Before Hannah could argue, he had pulled his sister onto the bus and paid their fares. The National Literacy Strategy 18Resource sheet 5d Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: OHT for analysis Narrative Writing Unit Events Later, Hannah did try to tell him that she had said the bus was going the wrong way but by then it was much too late. They both realised they were going east instead of west, miles away from their own estate. Hannah burst into tears. “I’m SO fed up,” she sobbed. “AND I’m cold. AND I’m scared because we’ll be in REAL trouble now. We’ve lost Mac” Winston tried to cheer her up but he’d never been very good at that anyway The bus turned a corner into a small estate of retirement bungalows. “Oh look,” said Winston. “Grandma’s house. Oh –” and his voice trailed off as he gazed in amazement at a small, very wet and bedraggled black and white dog sitting on the doorstep, waiting patiently. The National Literacy Strategy 19Resour Resource sheet 5e ce sheet 5c Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: OHT for analysis OHT for analysis Narrative Writing Unit Ending The children tumbled off the bus at the next stop and charged back up the road. “Mac” shrieked Hannah, “we found you You clever old thing. You came home.” “I suppose he cut along by the old canal,” Winston said, “and that’s how he got here so quickly. Poor Mac. He must miss Grandma. Let’s get him home and dry him off.” They didn’t have to wait long for another bus – this time going the right way – and were in the kitchen rubbing Mac dry when the phone rang. It was Grandma. “They let me have the trolley phone by my bed,” she explained. “I just had to ring and see if poor old Mac is alright. I’m so worried about him.” Winston and Hannah looked at each other. Winston shook his head. Hannah nodded. “Oh you mustn’t worry, Grandma,” Hannah said brightly. “He’s had a lovely day. No trouble at all” The National Literacy Strategy 20Resour Resource sheet 5c ce sheet 6a Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Annotations for analysis OHT for analysis Narrative Writing Unit The National Literacy Strategy 21 Sentence structure and punctuation Opening Text structure and organisation Mac’s Short Adventure Story opening: setting Commas separating names Winston watched rain pelt down the window Such a boring setting suggests that panes in icy cold needles. He sighed. something might be going to happen “This is just typical School holidays and it rains” Characters quickly established: His younger sister, Hannah, didn’t answer and Winston by his words, and the two carried on rolling around the floor with Grandma’s girls by their actions dog, Mac, barking excitedly at her ankles. Complex sentence containing short A moment later, a key turned in the latch, phrases and clauses to indicate Sophie’s the door opened and 16-year-old Sophie, Phrase connecting the two paragraphs speed of movement. Clause, marked by headphones glued as usual to her ears, bounded commas, dropped into sentence to provide upstairs shouting as she went, “Stay at the door, quick picture of Sophie Trace, right.” Mac certainly needed no second chance and was out of the lounge and into the garden before Hannah could get to her feet. Vocabulary – verbs and “You idiot, Sophe” Winston yelled pointlessly adverbs – (shaded) chosen Plot gets under way. Dilemma at the retreating figure. “We’re supposed to keep to describe actions precisely introduced. Reason for problem him in. He doesn’t know his way around this end of town.” Composition and effect Spelling Colloquial speech to portray character of teenager certainly – ‘c’ and ‘ai’ in a hurry commanding a close friend and to doesn’t – contraction of ‘not’ indicate the relationship of Winston with his sister. answer – ‘w’ excitedly – ‘x’ and ‘c’Resource sheet 6b Year 6 Planning Exemplification 2002–2003: Annotations for analysis Narrative Writing Unit The National Literacy Strategy 22 Sentence structure and punctuation Build-up – the chase Text structure and organisation The plot has moved on without Subordinate clause opening sentence, Grabbing two coats, Hannah joined her brother on the step, just in time to see the black and white describing every small incident – reducing action to 3 succinct words dog squeeze through an impossibly small gap in the reader knows Winston has followed to create effect of speed. hedge and start an easy amble up the road. the dog to the door Comma between clauses “No time to leave a note to Mum,” Winston decided, taking charge. “Let’s get him. The last More information provided to thing Grandma needs to know when she’s in indicate importance of the dog and hospital is that we’ve lost her dog. Blasted thing” heightens tension he added under his breath. “Tell Sophe,” he Subordinate clause opening ordered a surprised looking Tracey. “And tell her it’s sentence for emphasis. all her fault” Comma between clauses Splashing through puddles, the two children rushed towards Mac. That was probably the worst thing to do because he decided they had come Use of subordinate clause to relate Characters developed through out to play a game. Wagging his tail vigorously two simultaneous actions. their speech and sending sprays of water onto the legs of a Comma between clauses passer-by, he raced off towards the park. “We’ll get him,” Hannah said confidently. “He’s only got little legs.” “He’s doing all right on them, though,” Winston Vocabulary – verbs and adverbs puffed, rounding the corner to see Mac turn down – (shaded) chosen to yet another street. “I just wish it would stop raining. describe actions precisely My glasses are covered. I can’t see properly.” Mac led his pursuers towards the gateway to the town park and set off at once towards the duck pond. He’d not had so much fun for years. Composition and effect Spelling Reader’s attention held by the chase. worst–‘w’ special relates to word, worm, world, work Implicit, rather than overt, time-consuming though – in the ‘ough’ family references, to remind the reader of the grabbing and wagging – double the consonant unpleasant weather. after a short vowel Overall impression of action built up through the pursued – ‘ur’. Not to be confused with persuade vocabulary, e.g. raced, puffed, pursuers, vigorously and confidently – polysyllabic words vigorously, wagging can be segmented; ‘or’ not ‘our’ even though vigour is spelled with a ‘u’